/biz/ - Business & Finance

>wake up at noon
>go to toilet and then realise that, no, I have woken up at 9 am
>it's a cloudless sunny day and I look outside and feel grateful for having extra hours in the day
>drink coffee while mindlessly browsing internet
>have to study some material for a job interview I'll have in London soon- have procrastinated it for over two weeks
>Also: feel like I need to go through two small sections of a maths textbook on statistics or else I'm a pleb (I went through these sections over a year ago in the Christmas holiday, did the exercises, and promptly forgot everything because I had no reason back then either)
>tell myself I'll do the textbook and then the interview material
>have also told myself I'd exercise a lot to not go back in to London while fat but it's too late for that
>procrastinate all the tasks
>leave house to go outside on this sunny day which feels like a cool summer day
>go to park but it's too crowded to go to right now
>have a small junk food binge (some chocolate, sweets, supermarket sandwich)
>currently drinking coffee
>plan to go back to park and then go home and do the work and then exercise a shitload in the gym, cardiowise, to feel less fat

I can't trick myself in to thinking of work as anything but a huge ordeal. Does success mean missing out on all daylight hours for the rest of my life?

I've done less than 3 hours of productive stuff in my free time (so I don't count my jobs, or interviews, or chores: these are not intellectually or in any way psychologically edifying) in a year.

I am blackpilled as fuck. I am a 28 year old ugly meek charismaless beta loser. I have no motivation. Remember those few months when I stayed at my job from 9 to 5 (before I realise I didn't have to) and I would sit in my tiny flat after work, feeling sad on 4chan about not being as uncucked as zoomer YouTubers?

I feel like a cucked prisoner if I have any spooks but I am a slave to habit. Having any spooks is like prison to me.