/biz/ - Business & Finance

Literally just fake it. Put it on resume in a meme degree that nobody cares about though to show you're a good goy.

>tfw you will never deeply inhale her brapper

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

>>12554253
Sure but how to avoid them verifying it?
Is there some pajeet/chink/brazilian service

>>12554270

>>12554276
don't lie about degree. it's illegal in USA. but it ironically is legal to lie about previous employers.

go for it!

>>12554322
Like they will press charges? Sounds far fetched, or is there some employment database?
I don't buy it desu

>>12554355
Yes. Companies usually hire 3rd parties to do background checks. One of their checks is education verification. There are databases (at least in the US) that can be checked for a nominal fee to see attendance dates and graduation date.

It's fraud, yo

>>12554382
Well yeah I knew that, I was talking about a flagged database for people who lie.

>>12554270

just go buy a legit degree from one of those degree mills

>>12554242
https://www.sznxp.io
$100 = 12,000,000 XIP

>>12554711
Like devry?

>>12554242
ask craig
he has like 50 phds in nothing

>>12554711
but wont the hr bitch just see that you got your cert for like the BJ Uni or something? if stopping being poor was easy we'd all do it man. you dicked up school and now you're fucked. welcome to the party.

>>12554242
>you will never lick her turdcutter clean

>>12554242
Diploma mills

Does anyone have any links to any actual diploma mills that actually deliver something and won't just scam my money?

>>12555447
why even live

>>12554242
Its easier for them to check your education than your previous employment. I would recommend instead, say that you have many years in your field in stead of saying you have a degree. But thats just me. I also wouldnt do it if i couldnt back up what i was saying with my own skill.

>>12554242
fuck i wanna sniff her brapper so bad

Get on with the state. Least mine all they do is a criminal background check. The job requirements are a joke for some of the jobs listed. They give you so many sub clauses to use in place of a degree that unless your a real fuck up you can qualify for it. EX: The IT jobs, I don't got a college degree. Just certs. Even though the job states "4 yr college degree required" they still say I'm qualified up to a grade 14 (mid 30's - 40k).

Really though with the explosion of online colleges now surely it would be easy to fake a degree and no one give it any mind. The trick would be to actually get it in something you were good at so that way when you got the job in question you wouldn't look like a fool.

>>12555519
This

I said I was a manager for Blockbuster

good luck verifying it

and it worked btw but you also need legit employment in the mix too

>>12554242

>>12554242
i think i smell what your cooking

>>12555519
>say that you have many years in your field in stead of saying you have a degree.
I do have many years in my field

I'd like to make the jump from electronic tech to engineer. I honestly have the chops but stacy in her cant fathom that decades of exp > college

Brap bump

>>12555238
top kek

>>12554355
This dude you are talking to is a shill. I have lied about college degrees many times and I know people who have done it. Every year one or two major CEOs gets busted for it because it is so common. There is no verification. Just do it and see

>>12555634
I like this idea. Equally (provided you are old enough) couldn't you just do the same thing for a University that has still closed down? How would they verify such a thing, especially if this university is not in the US and you don't work in the US. I believe the normal procedure in most countries is just to phone the university's HR dept. and ask them right?

>>12554270

>>12556555
>Every year one or two major CEOs gets busted for it because it is so common
source?

>>12554270
damn dude, i havent seen this in a while. solid post

related: is it a crime to lie about income in credit cards applications? asking for a friend

>>12556856
They're not gonna check.

>>12556860
>They're not gonna check.
oh ok cool
imagine having like $100k in available credit but being unemployed heh that would be crazy lmao..

>>12556862
lmao

Just take out a ton of debt and leave the country to retire bro.

>>12556872
>lmao
>Just take out a ton of debt and leave the country to retire bro.
that's pretty funny but I don't think they'd give me enough, I don't wanna go live in some shitty SEA country on $10/day lol

>>12556872
>Just take out a ton of debt and leave the country to retire bro.

Won't they hubt for you until the end of the world?

>>12557190
must be fun living in schizo RPG fantasy land

>>12554322
>don't lie about degree. it's illegal in USA
lmao bullshit. I lied about my degree and got an interview which turned into a job offer at Microsoft. However they did a background check on me afterwards and took the job offer back. I didn't mind since I already had another job lined up at the time, so I told Microsoft that they're hypocritical faggots because Bill Gates also does not have a degree. Felt really fucking good

>>12557216
>Felt really fucking good
I'm sure Jeanine in HR really gave a shit lmao

>>12557220
Woman these days are so sensitive that I wouldn't doubt that she needed therapy afterwards.

>>12557228
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlQefdQEktI

first one

>>12554270

>>12557230
>open video
>immediately see a roastie whore
*yawn*
>close video

>>12557213
>must be fun living in schizo RPG fantasy land

JOkes aside, is there a way to escape the hunt? Thailand? South America?

>>12554242
there are people who do that

>>12554242

Ask a pajeet.

>>12554242
you need one job, preferably at a startup (no background check). After that, you can apply anywhere and not even mention your degree.

>>12557237
yeah that's the point
the clip is only like 20 sec so just watch it nigger

>>12557240
they aren't going to extradite you for skipping out on a minor amount of cc debt.

>>12557254
>you need one job, preferably at a startup (no background check)
startups do background checks just the same as any other company

You can buy one in the DW.

>>12556856
LOL @ video

>>12557266
Want to know how I know you've never worked anywhere besides McDonald's?

>>12557254
>you need one job, preferably at a startup (no background check). After that, you can apply anywhere and not even mention your degree.
See->>12555850

Learn to read you coal-black negroids
I have fucktons of experience, I also have a good gainful career type job. I have topped out though & the highest paid mooks are the first to get axed & replaced.

Need to go up to the next rung.