/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>11731317
It's not funny 'cos it's true.

1 week later

Thank you very much for taking the time to speak with us about the position at [COMPANY NAME]. While your skills and background are impressive, we have decided to proceed with other applicants for our opportunity at this time. Please stay in touch and keep us in mind as we are constantly growing and looking for top talent.

Again, thank you for your interest in a position with [COMPANY NAME] and we wish you success in your job search and future career.

>Ask her why

Hi Anon, thanks for checking in. We always appreciate people's effort and willingness to hear feedback. This role is very competitive, and we've identified a candidate who meets the team's needs at this time. Happy to stay in touch about future opportunities.


>Go on website
>Job is still listed
>3 weeks later
>JOB IS STILL LISTED

>>11731576
>Job is still listed
They're a very busy, important company, OP.
They don't have time to update their job listings with 3-5 very important people working on hiring a single candidate.

>>11731576
You forgot

>Please feel free to apply to other positions within our company that may offer other opportunities for you.

How do we stop HR thots?

>>11731610
you don't see the irony in the wasted time and thus money that an old job ad presents? Secretary and/or HR has to keep telling applicants "already filled" multiple times a day?

Literally boomer-tier thinking you got there.

>>11731634
We can't. America is run by middlewomen now.
The only way to make it is to apply to a gay strip club and suck your way into a career

>>11731650
Dude, if you missed my irony, you need to lurk more

>>11731650
He was being sarcastic lol

>Proceed to video chat interview
>Scheduled to do it with 2 dudes

Sorry Anon, so and so cancelled.
You'll be scheduled with 1 person now
Sorry Anon, video chat isn't working, want to do it over the phone? Defeating the whole purpose of video chat?
No? Oh ok, we'll set it up shortly then

Hi anon, my name is Khaled, and I'll be doing the interview today. Even though I look really unfriendly, bored and uninterested, I'll be going through the motions and doing this video interview with you. I'm not the hiring manager. I'm a total beta male. Ok anon, heres how this works, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions like a beta male robot and you're going to respond. Here we go:

>Why are you unemployed and looking for work? Do you consider yourself unemployable?(for real)
>Describe to me a time in which you inspired others
>What do you consider your 3 greatest strengths and weaknesses?
>What are your goals and how do you set them?
>What do you do to motivate yourself?
>Where do you see yourself in 5 years? (lel)
>How do you handle rejection?
>What is your personal outlook on work?
>Tell me a time in which you screwed up and how did you rectify it?
>Tell me 3 of your goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
>Why do you think you're the best fit for this position? Why did you choose us?
etc etc etc

ONE DAY LATER
ONE DAY LATER
ONE DAY LATER

Thank you for your time in our recent interview. Unfortunately, after further discussions, we have chosen to move forward with other candidates whom we feel best fit our needs at this time.

We will continue to keep you in mind for future opportunities with BLANK. Thank you again for your time and patience in our process and we wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

>>11731576
Apply for a government job in March...
Don't hear back..
Job still listed...

>>11731634
Self employment

>>11731923
What was the job for?

>>11731955
only people of color get government jobs

>>11731955
If you're a white male then just forget about it

>>11731987
tech/software sales

I swear to god he proceeded to ask me some of the most textbook recruiter questions ever conceived. He kept thanking me over and over for being there on the video chat with him. He was clearly projecting.

>>11731576
I see the same jobs I saw a month ago still up on Indeed. I think they're just their to collect data from people not to actually hire people.

>Be in a pretty small industry
>There's only really three companies in it any more
>Have worked at one of them for two years since uni
>Another one opens up grad positions ("for candidates with less than three years experience")
>I apply
>I doubt that there was a single more experienced candidate
>Three days after applications close I have to do an online personality test and some kind of verbal reasoning test
>Wait two weeks
>Generic email saying I've been rejected ("there were a lot of candidates...")
>Ask them why I didn't even get a phone call
>No response
>So I go to check my LinkedIn
>No profile views
>I bet they didn't even read my resume, because it didn't trigger their algorithm

Fuck HR sluts. It's fucking impossible to deal with them, even when you do everything right.