/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>11518297
You can't really control how people react to you. It's mostly a subconscious thing.

>>11518314
So this book is of no use? Or will it help a little bit?

>>11518297
You have a gf. You're a normie. You're one of them so why do you struggle?

>>11518324
So last year to get my gf all I did was talk louder and have strong eye contact. Literally it. Got a bunch of dates with girls and ended up with her.

I'm not as loud anymore and seem to have lost my non autism. Autism seems to be back with vengeance.

>>11518297
I don't know the book but I often find that people somewhat on the spectrum just say mean things about things/people people like or love. So just stop being judgemental.

Yes, this book helps

>>11518297
define sperging out?
also, I think it's important to work on yourself first.
emotional stability, etc.
It's much less exhausting to socialize if you're yourself.
anyhow
if you want quick tricks
the OP pic is ok
here are others
"the charisma myth"
"How to talk to anyone"
was also good
best of luck fren

>>11518345
So basically you're good looking. Use that to build your confidence.

>>11518297
My therapist in middle school told me to read this book and it did literally nothing for me. Kek.

>>11518369
So basically like when someone says something I need to stop and think of a response to what they say. It doesn't sound natural.

>>11518372
I think I look ugly but others compliment me.

>>11518297
Something you need to understand about normies is that they have a more pronounced 'feeling' component to their experience. If you go to a popular bar and watch people hanging out, you'll notice that the topic of conversation is mostly a prop to facilitate the satisfying feelings that normies have when they look in eachother's eyes, crack jokes about eachother, get close to share private comments with eachother, solve social 'problems' together, 'agree' with eachother and other shit.
Carnegie's book is a guide to simulate those kinds of interactions with other people while exploiting their assumption that you're just a regular old norman who feels like they do. In the sense that you probably don't feel what is implied by your behavior, the book turns you into a batemanesque manipulator. It can sort of work, but it takes a lot of effort to maintain the presentation. In my personal experience, this leads to 'boom, bust' relationships where people I meet are very drawn to the carnegie bullshit, but because I have no physiological incentive to maintain the act (it is exhausting), I end up slowly fading out of the relationship, dodging out of plans, ignoring calls etc over the course of a few weeks, and then after a couple months I reappear and the cycle begins anew. Not worth it in the slightest, but I know there are people who can make it work. Maybe you can be that guy anon.

Manage your ethos.

>>11518426
If all you have to do is look a girl in a eyes and she becomes your gf, you're at least an 8/10.

I'm interested in this thread. I'm currently listening to the audio book.

I see it this way, it cant hurt right OP?

>>11518426
lmao
sort of
you gotta practice to make it natural
do it in the mirror if you have to
that's what I did
>mfw I was actually a total loser at one point
kek

>>11518445
I need more information. What do you mean that they have a feeling component?

>>11518458
I was being loud and boisterous too man.

>>11518467
So how is things now ?

Read the book, there's a reason it's so widely recommended.

>>11518490
Read the book for the knowledge it will give you. It's worth it for that alone.
Look into a guy called Patrick King. His series called "Conversation Tactics" is worth reading. They are short and not expensive but have pretty good info

>>11518490
I mean that when regular people talk about stuff, their understanding and experience of the conversation is more strongly affected by non-verbal, subjective information like body language, the feeling that they get when someone agrees with them etc. whereas an autist is probably more focused on the verbal/linguistic and factual content of the conversation.

>>11518297
The book might help you a bit if you're an autist, but the book was written for slightly socially inept normies, so it helps them the most. If you can't help your sperg outs, you're out of luck, but if this books gives you the confidence you need to control those sperg outs then it's worth the read.

>>11518540
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>>11518297
I'm lowkey terrified though. I don't really care about interacting with most people, but I know that in order to make money I need to do that. People are usually dipshits to me so I don't talk to them much.

What are the odds that I might actually go full Bateman and kill like 20 people?

Psychological compartmentalization is a real and scary thing.

>>11518490
been great
ngl, all I've done is just try to stereotype people and revolve the talks either about them or their interests
it helps that I'm curious about most things in general.

I also made quite a list of common conversation topics
>being this autistic
this approach helped me a lot though
>>11518577
don't sweat it
autism isn't sociopathy
also, being bad at socializing helped me become better than most at understanding the fundamentals of communication

>>11518577
It's unfortunate that people are dipshits to you. When I encounter rude people I refer to this passage in book two of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Try your best not to go full Bateman.

>>11518321
It helps a little bit, it’s effective but can make you feel conniving. They’re just techniques, gotta remember to always unironically bee yourself.

The odds of you going psycho is 0. This book is really good.
While all the anons are right in this thread, I find that people miss the biggest point of the book. To get people to like you truly you need to become interested in people. Yes, the book explains on numerous occasions and great examples how to fake that interest, but if you truly try and follow the book and actually make effort to become interested in people and try to find good things about everyone then this book will straight up change your mind.
I’ve been a 4chin nerd since 08, and while I had friends, I was never a normie. Reading that book and actually applying it across hundreds of occasions (literally) made me always, without fail, the #1 most popular person in any social circle I am. People gravitate towards me because I shut the fuck up about myself and try to get something out of people that I find interesting. The key is realizing that everyone has literally years of life experience behind them and there is no way their experience couldn’t be useful to you. Throw away your ego and try to actually to learn from others. Don’t try to get people to like you; try to like and appreciate other people.

It will be cringey at first, but this is a numbers game too like any other skill. Currently I navigated my job that I started just 2 years ago and got my management to like me so much, I’ve been promoted 3 fukken times already from 60k to 90k. You don’t have to believe me, that’s fine. My relatives who knew me my whole life saw this all unfold with their jaws dropped. And my best friends since childhood... tried to hold me down. That’s the worst of it. I remember my best friend who became a complete lost fuck who is addicted to fortnite (!) saying “you’ve changed. Why are you so positive all the time? You were so mean before, I don’t get it. I don’t like it.” Don’t expect your surroundings to grow with you.

Take this however you want. I highly recommend.

>>11518577
>What are the odds that I might actually go full Bateman and kill like 20 people?

It's mostly genetic.

>fearlessness
>poor impulse control
>self-centerness
>lack of empathy
>temperamental

>>11518645
this
listen to this guy OP
it's pretty much where I'm at on this as well
no 60k job tho
I wageslave for senpai
lul
>>11518645
do you have any tips on being more articulate btw?

You can apply principles from this book but it will never change you. You’ll still hate normies and will never have the same interests. Also you will never find their “jokes” funny. Basically the key is to talk about them and only talk about you when they ask.

>>11518645
>And my best friends since childhood... tried to hold me down.
Typical. They always try to drag down to their pit of misery.

Really a great book, read it (or listen to the audiobook) for sure. I disagree that it would turn you into a Patrick Bateman, quite the opposite actually. It constantly makes the point of being SINCERE.

I just found this, it's a good summary of the book:
http://fgiasson.com/blog/index.php/2005/08/07/how_to_win_friends_and_influence_people/

Good luck OP, I am also on a journey to stop being a sperg.

>>11518297
Learn about raport. It’s the core principle of socializing. Master this and you will improve drastically. Build upon that afyerwards. But this book is ok too.