/biz/ - Business & Finance

That nigger resisting arrest and reaching for the officers gun getting shot, and then 300 niggers take to the streets to violently protest

>>11418829
>that coworker that disrupts my work flow with his constant walking around

>>11418829
Yeah, I don't understand why they would want to fuck themselves up that much. Just the a short 5 min breaks every hour or two and stretch or something. Sitting for that long is uncomfy as fuck

>>11419161
It's usually high work ethic bootlickers, they take on so much extra work and literally have to work all day, skip lunch and stay late to get it all done. There's one girl in my office like that.

>that guy that doesn't eat lunch with everybody in the lunch room

I take 2 30 minute shits per day. Who else here /paidtoshit/?

>>11419333
I take three and then also spend another hour talking to girls in other department. I also take like hour long lunch breaks, instead of allowed 30 minutes. Thinking about it, I spend almost 4 hours a day away from my fucking desk. But truth to be told I always finish my work in 2 hours so that's why nobody cares how long I'm gone.

>>11419236
>tfw sitting outside at break watching cars go by while everybody socializes in the break room

>>11418905
>my work flow
>early is on time, and on time is late!
>remember to participate in casual day anon!

>>11418829
>those coworkers who eat lunch at their desk and need to pretend to keep working

Oh and another one

>sometimes you have to be promoted horizontally before being promoted vertically!

>I lurk /biz/ but I'm only here for the memes
>this place doesn't have much useful information
>oh well, back to work, haha

>>11419236
>that npc that socializes

>that coworker that gets up every 30minutes to use the restroom

>>11419236
>>11419572
DELET

>>11419215
poor npcs, bad loops programmed

>>11418829
>working in an office

>>11419411
Same desu. Along with my shits is nearly an hour long lunch. The first hour of the day I always spend "answering emails" (napping with my hand on the mouse and Outlook open). Last hour of the day I spend bullshitting talking to coworkers. Some days boss leaves early and I'm out 15 min after him. On an average day I spend 4 hours working, on a good day I work for 3 and I'm home by 2pm

Life is good if you're not a bottom of the barrel wagecuck, it's just these NEETs who desperately try to FUD working to feel better about staying at home depressed collecting maybe 10k per year in autismbux

that would be me and its because im busy outworking you and you dont even know it

>>11419236
>not going for 8 smoke breaks per day and skipping lunch

>>11420133
>dying at 55 from lung cancer

Actually 8 smoke breaks for 10 min each for 40 years might make up for the lung cancer kek

>>11420065
How much do you make?

>That boss who talks to. Employee about how often he fills his cup with water

>that coworker that constantly farts

>>11420329
73k but im only 3 years out of school. Engineering / QA QC private company

>>11420429
literally me
but it's always protein farts

Civil servant reporting in, let me give you an average day and make you realise why governments get fuck all done:

>roll into work at anywhere between 7:20-7:40
>clock in manually and put quarter past
>turn on PC, log in, open Outlook
>immediately log out and go fill up my water bottle
>return to sit at desk and stare out the window at squirrels in the trees for anywhere up to an hour
>start reading through emails
>hit 10am and go for a 15-30 minute walk around the building
>return and actually start work
>strike up 30-60 minute conversation with coworkers to pass time
>start reading through corporate news and irrelevant shit like that
>realise it's getting close to lunch and start on any number of minor tasks, or attend meetings
>hit 12:00 and go eat lunch for 30 minutes (usually done in 20 but I sit at the desk logged out if I get back early until I've had at least 30)
>come back and continue doing minor tasks and responding to emails
>take another 15-30 minute walk break about 1-2pm
>sometimes followed by a 15 minute session just sitting in the toilets (used to have a shit but lately I never need to anymore, so I just sit there on my phone)
>realise there's only an hour or so left in the day so start staring out the window and pretending to work again, usually starting new conversations to pass time
>manually clock out to 15:30ish (the time I'm usually at the car), beat the traffic, home in 40 minutes

I'm not even exaggerating at all. Believe it or not that's trimmed down compared to what it used to be like. I used to go on walks every couple hours for 20 minutes at a time, and even meditate somewhere quiet most mornings for 10 minutes. Once after a night of terrible sleep I had a nap somewhere for 30 minutes.

I also drink up to about 4 litres of water while at work, so I get up to go piss like clockwork usually.

>>11419236
personal attack

>>11419458
>taking an ironic shitpost seriously
>responding for some form of self satisfaction
Lmao imagine being this much of a loser

>>11420719
>thinking things in greentext are serious reponse
>using the word serious

>>11420676
>be me
>be civil servant
>roll into office between 8:30-9
>no clock in/out requirement
>log in, check email
>usually no emails
>check syslogs
>never any issues
>reboot a couple servers for Windows Update
>spend day on /pol/, /biz/, /diy/, /x/
>boss "works from home" 2 days a week
>leave at 2pm those days
>occasionally take a sick day
>do not record as used
>sick days roll over to next year
>mfw 720 hours sick time available

>>11420443
Congrats, you are making less than a plumber in the 80s when adjusted for inflation. And all you had to do is get a degree in a competitive in-demand field.

>>11420777
Absolutely based, and checked.

I'm scared to go to the bathroom and piss in front of people lol. I also feel like the people and chipotle judge me of I go there too often so I just sit at my desk all day if I don't go to lunch. I also fap about 5 times a day.

>>11420773
>I was just pretending
still a loser anon

>>11420676
>>11420777

I fucking want a comfy government job so bad.

Fucking hate actually working.

Do I need connections to get into that? What degree is the most valuable for such a job?

>that 40 year old zoomer that shows up at 08:30, leaves at 16:00, takes a 90 minute lunch break and spends the rest of the time chatting while also leaving early fridays and working from home every other day, offline on skype and not responding to emails
This shit is super common and management is really lenient, especially with parents.

>>11420840
Must be one of them newfangled Canadian plumbers. I make triple the median American's income, hard to talk shit on that. Of course according to you every good degree makes 100k starting, right? Are you a Math PhD 300k starting any field you want? Post your paystub

>>11420777
how much do you make?
where does one get this kind of civil servant job?

sounds too good to be true

>>11421070
It's maximum comfy, only downside is the pay.

I'm a History graduate too so don't sweat about degrees, just find the best way to get your skills across for what they want and remember that the government is literally always recruiting.

>>11421121
>only downside is the pay.

What's the average pay?
(I mean, I don't need a ton of money so I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem. Just don't wanna wageslave.)

>>11421142
My utter entry level job I got to get my foot in the door (basically my degree wasn't necessary) was £17k, after 7 months of working that I'm about to start a new one a level up on £25k, and after a couple years will be another level up on £31-£35k (or I fuck off to industry and go up to 40ish).

Bear in mind that I'm a Bongistani, so pay is universally shit compared to rest of world to begin with here anyway, and also bear in mind that even though industry pays (substantially) more, you can't fuck around and work from home half the time and take early finishes and days off almost whenever you want so long as you hit your hours.

Civil service job is like an intermediate stage between NEET life and proper working life. I have no idea how I see people at work stressed, I don't understand their mentality whatsoever. I also see lots and lots and lots of weirdos and autists who probably never advance and who seem to have figured out that it's the most comfortable and low effort job possible that involves leaving their basement.

>>11420992
t. Some fag who gets his "work flow" interrupted

>>11420676
This is spot on. I'm a gs-11 for the military in Germany. They paid for my move. They pay for my housing. No one knows what I do or where I am supposed to be. We do our own timesheets (e-pay) and I get paid a full 80 hours biweekly while being there probably 50, and working maybe 6. I'm actually a hard worker according to the boomers. I'm getting awards and shit. Other civilians ate much worse, and this is at a major COCOM... defenders of our nation.

>>11420992
t. Some fag that can't read

>>11420992
t. Some fag that stands up for others on an anonymous image board

>>11420992
t. Some fag nigger worried about his "flow"

>>11420429
>not silent farting the entire day
>especially after lunch lol
only time I get up is to go safety wipe
no accidents yet (at this job)

>>11420992
t. Some fag literal npc

>>11420992
t. Some fag pretty boy wannabe who calls people "losers" in 2018 on 4chan to elevate his self worth

>>11420992
t. Some fag who follows up his posts hours later

>>11420992
t. Some fag shit tier aspie that doesn't understand green text and takes EVERYTHING literal

>>11420992
t. Some fag that posts in npc threads on biz looking for confrontation because of his weak masculinity

>>11420992
>t. Some bootlicking faggot that takes his job to seriously. Commonly found with his nose up his bosses/coworkers ass

>>11420676
>>11420777
nice anons
not a civil servant but the fortune 500 i work for is quite chill,...
but i do have to get shit done or they'll eventually fire me, so i do.

enjoy it while it lasts, anons

>>11421506
>>11421518
>>11421532
>>11421552
>>11421560
>>11421569
>>11421580
>>11421593
>>11421609
>>11421626
wew lad

>>11421593
>>11421609
>that NPC fag that doesn't know how to respond to multiple posts in one post so he doesn't have to post multiple times.
kys

>>11420992
>t. Some fag that can't get trips

>>11420992
t. Some fag who probably enemas

>>11420992
t. Some fag who plays Nintendo

>>11420992
t. Some fag who owns a dog

>>11418829

>>11420992
t. Some fag who goes to da club yo

>>11421559
>at this job

>>11420992
>t. Some fag that eats fat chick pussy and dies of throat cancer

>>11420992
t. Some fag who gets offended by the npc meme

>>11421684
look at this buttblasted zoomer

>>11420992
t. Some fag that doesn't own a dog

>>11420992
t. Some fag who votes democrat

>>11418829
I had a few jobs offers in which they said that you work 8 hours and you have a half hour of unpaid break. so 8 and a half hour and you MUST TAKE 30 unpaid minutes. Fucking corporations.

>>11420992
t. Some fag that thinks the word "loser" is an insult on 4chan's /biz/ - business & finance board

>>11420992
t. Some fag that "eats healthy"

>>11421799
Hey bro! Do me too
• ᠌ ᠌ •

᠌

>>11421794
>ask HR "Can I leave thirty minutes early if I didn't take a break?"
>>"No. You would have to stay until 5:30 if you did that. You need to take the break."

3 years later:
>see a manager ask HR the same question
>HR says yes
>"I did not know we could do that. When I asked you, the answer was no."
>>"I don't recall telling you that."

>>11420992
t. Some fag that uses apple products /exclusively/

>>11421820
t. Some fag that posts npc memes ironically unironically

>>11420992
t. Some fag that works well with others

>>11421888
>Imagine tard posting in a Bratislava coin forum for 4 hours straight.

>>11421473
Yeah, the pay isn't gonna be a lot better here in Germany, but from what I've heard, government jobs are just as comfy here as you described.

>I also see lots and lots and lots of weirdos and autists who probably never advance and who seem to have figured out that it's the most comfortable and low effort job possible that involves leaving their basement.

KEK, I feel like I will belong to them if I manage to get into that work. Not having an extraordinarily good income is worth the fact that the work is not extremely stressful and demanding.
I am fucking sick of working in the private sector desu, and I am currently not even earning more than an average af government employee would earn, yet I have to deal with bitchy colleagues and a shitty boss who literally gives me shit if I leave 5 fucking minutes earlier.

>>11418829

I truly don't understand that. I have an older co-worker that doesn't get up from the desk at all and yet he doesn't complain about it. Me on the other hand I have to get up at least once an hour or something like that or else my body just starts complaining.
But then again, I'm quite cautious with this kind of crap.

>>11421851
>>11421888
you're trying too hard also checked

>>11421070
Used to be a Civil servant, construction inspector, before I left recently for a private company that pays 50% more. I literally did nothing. Or rather whatever I want.
>roll into work 7:20
>clock in, log into outlook
>7:30 call the contractor and ask if they're working on my office's project today
>if they're not working, I have literally nothing to do
>it was normal for me to work for 3 or 4 days in a row and then nothing for 3 or 4 weeks
>fill out the report I have to write daily, today I'm doing "office work"
>it's 7:40, go to bathroom and sit for 20 minutes taking a phat shit
>8 o'clock, I leave to get breakfast
>sometimes I go to fill up the car, sometimes I go to home depot, sometimes I go to the mall to do some shopping, sometimes I go to autozone
>on Fridays back when my best friend sat at the desk next to me we would go smoke a joint together before getting breakfast, I still keep the Friday tradition alive, just alone now because he got a better job
>get back to office 8:30 or 9 or 9:30, nobody cares
>walk past bosses office, 90% of time he's playing solitaire
>9:30 to 12:30 I spend doing anything. Some days I literally sleep at my desk for 2 or 3 full hours uninterrupted. Most of the time this is spent shitposting. Sometimes I watch Netflix. Ive literally installed a new battery in my car and vacuumed the interior in our parking lot
>boss is usually out 12:15 or 12:30
>I follow suit 15 minutes later
>usually home by 1, on the clock till 3

Your taxes went to covering about 300k yearly salary for the 4 guys in our office. We don't do anything. In fact one of the guys in the office has 2 other jobs. Life was good but I left because starting pay was 43k, top pay after 8 years of work was only 55k. Not too great. But for your average unambitious neet, almost a true paradise. I miss it

>>11419236
I'm literally that guy ;)

>>11422530
Did you never have any actual work to do?

>>11422608
I did work with the contractor about 20% of the time. I'd be out in the field following them around in my vehicle, "inspecting" (watching thru my front windshield from the comfort of the car) as they worked. Our days were longer than, 8-2:30 and depending on what the location was, because it changed everyday or sometimes several times a day, I'd be home 3 or 4. Then the next morning on my work report instead of writing office work, I'd describe what the contractor did and then pay for the items In the contract. A report takes about 30-45 minutes to do depending on how many locations we covered. And then it would be right back to doing nothing for the other 4.5 hours I was there.
OH I forgot to say once every couple of weeks my boss sends me out in the field on some random highway to go take a picture and some measurements for a new location where the contractor will be starting work soon. This takes 5 minutes to do once I arrive on site. I disappear for an hour or 2 even if the location is 10 min away. Smoke a joint, fly my dji drone, take a nap.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-05-15/bullshit-jobs-by-david-graeber-review

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/mar/21/books-interview-david-graeber-the-utopia-of-rules

https://www.economist.com/open-future/2018/06/29/bullshit-jobs-and-the-yoke-of-managerial-feudalism

https://www.vox.com/2018/5/8/17308744/bullshit-jobs-book-david-graeber-occupy-wall-street-karl-marx

https://jacobinmag.com/2018/06/bullshit-jobs-david-graeber-work-service

>>11421078
dont upset him anon tradesmen have fragile egos because they spend tens of thousands on tools and do body breaking work, but then pretends he works 90 hours a week and uses overtime rates to make it look like he's breaking six figures instead of just his body

man i'd kill myself many times over if i had to deal with the shit you guys are describing

>>11419333
I've missed 3 morning meetings because of my morning shits.

I've been here 3 weeks and nobody's said anything to me about it.

>>11420777
I have applied to so many gov jobs. I just want a chill job to go to. I am so stressed coming into work and immediately being hounded with emails and calls.

I have an MBA and every easy job that I apply to the interviewer thinks I will leave right when I get a better job offer

>>11420992
i was wondering why this got so many replies

>>11418829
>get paid for 40 hour week
>get in to work 9:15-9:30 everyday
>left 4:30pm yesterday
>leave like 3:30pm on fridays
>rarely work a full 8 hours

Feels good desu

>>11420992
lmao what a fag

>>11419236
Fuck this is me, but I have a good reason. I'm one of the only white guys in my entire office and we have a shitty old lunchroom and its usually full of 100 Indians and it smells so fucking bad thats its unbearable. This is what I get for living in Canada as a programmer

>commuting to work in a 1 hour drive to make money for somebody else

I am the NPC, pleasekillme.exe

>>11423853
>Work from home.
>Hours are 8 to 5 but usually just be available on Skype while I play games or trade on my main PC.
>When I do go out it's for 4 to 5 hours to. is it a site (including travel time).

Not gonna lie, it's pretty comfy.

>>11418829
>>11418829
so me. if single that my apologies for fucking the new girl

>>11420849
my wife to check me. pictures and a pair of pink duct tape glasses. Lee spy rich.

>>11421559
P checks. Know P draws.

>>11421691
her ass is still provoking problems and binge watching simpsons on that 1990's couch

>>11423822
smug bastard. you're father had a different plan for you.

>>11424909
How can I get such a job, comfy anon?

>That NPC that tries to use the NPC meme without knowing what the NPC meme means

>>11419236
I never go in the break room. Why the fuck would I wanna waste time bullshitting with coworkers and having some SFW nonsense conversation. I eat at my desk and work. I leave work early as a result. Only brainlets take a break and stay longer.

>>11424909
It’s only about 15-20 mins drive from home to my office. I get up like 8:30am in the morning

>>11419236
>used to eat lunch with coworkers
>stopped eating lunch with coworkers
>stopped eating lunch
>started sleeping for 1 hour during lunch instead even during winter
fuck 'em

>>11425030
nuh uh

>>11426141
A-are you George Constanza?

>>11419572
Have a female coworker who goes to the bathroom very often. Not sure if she has some sort of kidney health issue or if she's got some sort of std. She seems pretty and last I heard single.