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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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11075149 No.11075149 [Reply] [Original]

>be depressed, suicidal xanax-addicted incel
>one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit
>he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before
>he offers to get me some
>throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock
>several shrimp die
>realize that I killed them with my apathy
>realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life
>do research, learn about water parameters and so on
>eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths
>notice a female shrimp carrying eggs
>haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade
>the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up
>a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp
>I suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Jesus
>by this point I live and breathe shrimp
>all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos
>I spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products
>quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending
>start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp
>grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out
>relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself
>I see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp
>for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake
>it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs
>cry like a little bitch when I see it
>mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me
>college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp
>shit they're gonna think I'm autistic
>they actually think my shrimp are really cool
>they start inviting me to their social events
>start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart
>I think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew
We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.

>> No.11075219

>>11075149
Nice shrimp story

>> No.11075244

bumping for justice

>> No.11075263

>>11075149
You should kill your shrimp anon, its what they want.

>> No.11075276

That's unironically beautiful, OP. Now i want to create shrimps... They don't get "sad" by being confined in a tank?

>> No.11075280

>>11075149
That sounds refreshingly wholesome, count me in

>> No.11075294

>>11075276
Do you get 'sad' being confined to your house?

>> No.11075310
File: 46 KB, 657x600, 1526508994095.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11075310

in on ebin bread

>> No.11075314

>>11075149
This post made me smile:) Im happy for you op<3

>> No.11075322

>>11075263
Shrimp only want there to be more shrimp. Your directive runs contrary to their goals.

>> No.11075366

>>11075149
Nice story OP

>> No.11075379

>>11075149
Can I invest in your shrimp enterprise?

>> No.11075386
File: 2.02 MB, 1071x1049, 1520099506209.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11075386

That was cool OP
We are gonna make it bros...

>> No.11075389

Shrimp rock.

Say no to eating shrimp

>> No.11075391

>>11075322
Not true. Shrimp desire to die. I would know, I am a shrimp.

>> No.11075450

best thread i've seen all week in this shithole. Thanks Shrimperman

>> No.11075495

I really like the story OP, too bad that I don't believe in it. I don't know why, it's to good I guess.

>> No.11075509

>>11075450

This. Can we have a Shrimp meme? And then we can force something that it's really good.

Maybe a yellow pepe with shrimps in his hands. Like a good pepe, he gives you good advices and never FUD or shill bad bags. He just wants to help you.

>> No.11075571

Isn't there a meme on /biz/ that shrimp are somehow a really good investment?

I'm not even joking I'm sure I read this on here

>> No.11075601

>>11075509
We don't need a different colored pepe for every meme, that's not what a meme is
We need an OC (gasp) shrimp guy

>>11075571
You did
Where is shrimpanon?

>> No.11075609
File: 24 KB, 400x400, ab1[1].gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11075609

That's a great story OP

>> No.11075631
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11075631

>>11075149

You're gonna make it bro. Thanks for sharing this story with us - keep it up Anon. Unironically the best advice I can give you is to buy LINK. Like not even fucking with you. Buy LINK. Thanks again.

>> No.11075636
File: 88 KB, 604x516, apu_kitty.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11075636

>>11075244
>>11075314
>>11075366
>>11075386
>>11075450
>>11075495
this story is true, but not mine. I just found it on /an/ >>>/an/2813016
and I reposted here, because of previous shrimp memes on /biz/, so Ithought it belongs here for the hearwarming message.
The OP seems very legit, he posts back in original thread with aditional info and photos
I like this board, you all are good guys here in the end. I also hope that everyone here will make it

>> No.11075669
File: 73 KB, 480x270, eErgTe7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11075669

>>11075149

>> No.11075727

>>11075149
im really happy for you and your shrimp, anon

>> No.11075742

>>11075149
Post a picture of your shrimp farm, or you just got nothing better to do then write fake stories about farming shrimp cause that's weird as fuck bro

>> No.11075757

>>11075742
see
>>11075636

>> No.11075769

>>11075742

Why so rude, anon?

>> No.11075807

>>11075276

You have to understand that the shrimp is born in the tank so that is waht they perceive as "the world". They don't know anything outside of that tank, so they wouldn't know what they are missing. Which is for the best, because those tiny ass shrimp are EXTREMELY easy picking for predators. If anything, they would be happy to know that they will all get to die of natural old age and procreate without fear of an untimely death unless the "God" known as the human taking care of them becomes careless.

>> No.11075815

>>11075636
shrimps are a meme you fucking retard
>I like this board, you all are good guys here in the end
see this? >>11075631 if you think what's left of this board after the bearmarket is anything more than a cesspool that enjoys to watch you get fucked in the ass you're in the wrong place

>> No.11075860

>>11075815
implying I do not know about link meme

>> No.11075939

>>11075149
/biz/ is not your blog noob.
Go back to r/shrimp.