/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>11061980
You have to create a support ticket by using your intercom.

>not giving thanks to Bezos for this opportunity to serve him for an extra 6 hours

70,000 points deducted from your AmazonPoints account. So you're gonna ha-oh, wait, the Amazon Cloud determined the cost to sleep on an Amazon bench in Amazon park tonight based on weather conditions has increased to 75,0000 Amazon points.

>tfw you got reprimanded by your shift manager for bringing in a cushion because the cage's chair is too hard

Fucking cunt, I know you can't bring in anything unapproved but that shit is too hard

>>11061980
What is it that is so important that you have to do outside the cage anyway?
If you let slip to the manager that you have a life outside your Amazon cage you could be fired.
So better be patient and hope for the cage to open at the end of your next shift.

>>11061980
Open a support thicket, the pajet operator will be on soon.

>>11062017

They used Chainlink to get a trustless notion of the weather.

>>11061980
Can someone explain this meme? I haven’t been on biz for a few weeks.

>>11061980
Inform your robovisor obviously. Its in the wagecage handbook issued to you during training.

>>11062152
Page 3:
>in the unlikely event that the wagecage door malfunctions inform your robovisor immediately.

Did you even pass the multiple choice test?

>>11061980
Read the FAQ moron

>>11062167
kek

You are going to run out of body waste bags, don't let fluid get onto the robot parts

I LOVE THIS MEEEEEEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEE
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAARR

>>11062143
The wage slave meem u retarded npc use you're head

The cost of using our equipment outside of your timeslot will be deducted from your paycheck

>>11062143

Amazon wanted to introduce this for their workers. /biz/ discovered this, and incorporated the wagie wojack meme into it. Hilarity ensued.

>>11062028
I was in the fucking Army and didn't get shit over this beyond some mild teasing, (brought my own cushion into an APC because the bench hurt my bony ass), where do you work?

>>11062143

>>11062093
This.
Don't rock the boat my uncle used to say

>>11061980
It will be a farraday cage, you wont be able to phone out wagecucky.

Our eye tracking software has reported that you only used 95% of your eyetime to look at your work items. Explain yourself.

>>11061980

Overnight lodging in the amazon "wagecage"(tm) costs will be deducted from your paycheck Tim.

>>11061980
>Thank you for contacting support. An Amazon ©wagecage technician will respond to your query within 24 hours.

Hello sirs this is ranjesh, please to be describing the problem you are having?

>>11063021
>Sir I'm sorry but you'll have to wait for the beginning of next week as Thursday and Friday are holidays in India.

Have you tried turning your cage on and off?

>>11063197
>turning your own wagecage off

The switch is on the outside

>>11063223
Well sir we will send a technician out next Wednesday

>>11063245

Next Wednesday!? B-but tomorrow is my girl's birthday! I can't wait that long, you see?

>>11062143
The cage is for protecting warehouse workers from hazards presented by robots in the workplace. The idea is that you’re less likely to get tyson’d by a robotic arm if you’re in a cage. /biz/ loves the irony of the wagecage and here we are

>>11062009
Fpbp

>>11063276
COPE
O
P
E

>>11062435
Now, this boomer NPC has really got the gears turning in my head.

When the boomer meme first reared its head, I figured it was an unconscious expression of insecurities related to aging. Dependency on caffeine, receding hairlines, tastes that are no longer in the main stream. The NPC meme comes along and seems to follow a similar pattern: the meme replicates itself by exploiting an insecurity. This boomer NPC is the crescendo. It shows us how we truly feel about ourselves.

We're getting older. We're realizing the wild and crazy ideas we treasured as young men are trite, old. No amount of Nick Land tweets give us that old feeling that we're traveling in uncharted waters. Our lives could be scripted, and we wouldn't be able to tell. The NPC boomer is decaying physically and intellectually.

The epiphany that we are no longer young men is coming to us at the same time we realize we were never men at all.

>>11061980
Did you take an extra ration from the food recycler? If so your work quota has been increased and you have to work off the hours

>>11063457
Right on fren. Not too loud.
won't be long now

>>11061980
>Hey wagie, nice to see you here nice and early. I like that my workers follow orders when i give them the night shift.

>Oh, Its in your contract that we can lock your cage if your quarterly numbers are low. You understand right?

>>11063457
Wow I don’t think I’ve ever read anything gayer. Kys

>>11062430
Nice thumbnail faggot

>>11063256
Replacement BF sent

>>11063457
It's alright, I plan to kill myself as soon as I turn 40. I figure that's enough.

>>11061980

This truly is the utilitarian dystopia timeline.

>>11062430
really bad quality, I'm just going to look for the thread, pleb

>>11061980
This is impossible. The wagecage is GUARANTEED to open after a maximum of 8.5 hours. Fuck you for spreading FUD. Sage

>>11063457
I also enjoy marijuana.

>>11061980
I'm so glad I witnessed the original thread for this one.

>>11067504
I need to see it.