/biz/ - Business & Finance

I play a ton of fucking ping pong. Tech sales

it's a kitchen and I have the keys so I can come in any time I want to utilize the equipment there

I slave really hard so I can get pretty much whatever food for free 99% of the time because the boss has to take care of his main guy. Also if I have to take off it's always a guarantee etc.
It's a lot of sacrifice at first giving literally everything to a job, but once the boss realizes he really does completely depend on you (not like the other npc part timers who all think they're valuable) they'll do anything to accommodate you.

Finally have no excuse to stick to my diet since I can cook everything there and I have my own fridge there too

>>11056095
government job

everyone already knows my perks

Tons of porn
Don't have to deal with HR
get to sleep in
I'm unemployed

>>11056163
pfff ahaahahaha, please be a pasta

>>11056201
I already made pasta this week I think we're good til monday

>>11056095
I can shitpost on /biz/ all day. It's gonna suck if I crash the bus, though.

Group of 40 experts, 25 of which have a PhD from 20 countries. AI stuff, Silicon Valley company, but our RnD office is based in Germany. What I'm not the biggest fan off is C++, but whateva. Scala/Haskell is the future.

>>11056187
Tons of porn
Don't have to deal with HR
get to sleep in
100m dollar payout
Used to be ceo of broadcasting company

>>11056095
company car laptop phone
free gas no phone bills
pretty long leash i got tons of independence
minions

>>11056218
alright but what about the perks?

>>11056224
nice, is it a lot like being a NEET?
any tips on how I can become a CEO?
most of my success in life has been about short bursts of really hard work followed by drinking lots of beer

>>11056095
I really enjoy leading people down their own respective career paths by pushing them to be their very best. My team works so well together on industry innovating and finding new ways to best serve our consumers that I wouldn't put them against any team in the world.

Helping others reach their potential has been a lifelong pleasure of mine.

>>11056095

Nothing

It's hell

>>11056095
I get free boxes of assorted hershey chocolate. 3 times a year. About 80 lbs worth of chocolate each time. I dont care for chocolate. Give shit tons away to friends family, and really like hooking up the trick or treaters.

>>11056244
Every project you finish, or work you read or tool you learn makes you better at your next project, and if you're in a room with people who did cutting edge fields for 15 years makes it much easier. Being surrounded by experts in AI and the learning curve. I could write solidity and make 2x the money, but I don't want to sit at home work remotely and not be smarter by the end of the day.

>>11056218
How do I get into AI independently?
I learned power engineering at university, but now taking online courses of applied machine learning with Python (keras, tensor flow etc)
But it's difficult to see if it's going somewhere or it's just a hobby.

>>11056296
you must be german this is typical german autism
>my job makes me better at my job so its a good job

>>11056347
I make the job to keep on learning because I like to learn?

I'm not looking to start a familiy in the next 3 years and bitches are for free if you're lean enough. What's so bad about wanting to keep on learning?

>>11056095
I get my own personal bathroom, I get free rides to the airport, I get my trash hauled for free, I use up any of the 100 gb of internet thats left over at the end of the month, (internet is expensive here) I get one or two training trips to the City a year (I live in a remote rural location)

>>11056224
.... meow ??

>>11056322
We use it mostly for computer vision and I'm a trained mathematican barely keeping up with my surroundings. If you're already doing courses on tensorflow and maybe regularly keep on looking for the new and open networks, try them and benchmark them, you're on a good track. Apply for a job doing it? Even in the crypto space people are vaguely asking for it. E.g. user evalations and other content platforms. Also some protocols. Do you apply for jobs, generally? Tbh after my PhD I got into a few jobs simply because I wanted to learn tools or languages and people are desperate for folks who know some statistics.

>>11056095
make my own hours and only work when I want to, the negative is some times I struggle a lot but if I budget and save a lot in january I can usually manage in a way I'm comfortable with

>>11056218
>t. Using C++ for AI
>Haskell is the future.
>Scala? Really, a scrub JVM language? At least use Clojure.
>t. Not gonna make it to the Singularity

Sigh, mathematicians....Category theory isn't going to magically spit out a conscious mind (as it's just about the opposite of how humans learn and process information) & C++ is a terrible choice for pretty much anything in currentyear (Rust >>>> all other low level languages). Just use Lisp for scripting, Prolog for querying your GraphDB, & use the CFFI to call your Rust code using Tensorflow libs for your NNs. Go forth and build the future.

>>11056206
kek

>>11056218
>Haskell is the future.
tell me more

>>11056417
>Being surrounded by experts in AI and the learning curve.

Doing Master of Statistics. But instead of AI (was very interested till last year. But too much "bleeding edge" burns me out; there are better things in life to do - such as poetry / gardening / writing / music / spirituality / physics etc.) than DeepLearning which ultimately helps only some selected farms with shit-load of data. BTW, I belong to those minority who thinks DeepLearning is twisting AI research. Its merely a play on scalability of ML algo. Read "Algebraic Mind" for more), I'm keen on picking up some qualitative knowledge in Finance via CFA.

>>11056095
>easy commute
>lots of vacation/sick time but i don't use it because taking time off is for the weak
>i get be a low level tax judge
>i get a sense of moral superiority
>the bar is low, i can come in a half hour late goof off all day if i don't have any appointments, and still look like i'm better than half my co-workers

>>11056623
Hey bud, we speak English on /biz/

>>11056218
Scala is terrible. It fails at the thing it was designed for- scalability. Innumerable ways to do the same thing means that your team must have utterly fascist standards and you won't understand APIs from third-party libraries which also will be incompatible with each other. At the end of the day, Scala's one good innovation is case classes, and even that is replicated mostly by 20 seconds of clicking in Eclipse using Java.

Haskell is cool, though.

>>11056095
My job is actually interesting, pays well and lets me work remotely 90% of the year. Pretty happy desu

>>11056095
What job?

>>11056095
>1 mile commute
>over 2 months leave saved up
>state benefits/comfy retirement/free insurance
>private office to myself
>door must be locked at all times (sensitive data)
>$5,000 32-core Xeon workstation
>a safe that only I have access to (doubles as my gold bullion storage)
>work an average of 2hrs/day
>mostly take naps and shitpost on 4chan
>2 hr lunch breaks

>>11056095
I sit at a desk and can do whatever I want on the Internet.

>>11057321
Well what is it? Are you a cam girl?

>>11056108
How did you get into tech sales. Looking to get in.

>>11056108
Work in the business unit of a software company, the sales guys play ping pong all the time. We probably work together.

Perks are: cocaine, women, lunch at bars, autonomy, trading on the job, coming into the office to bang on weekends, feel like a bigshot

i work for an airline and travel internationally for free

>>11056095
Get to come and go as I please, I can have as many or as little hours as I want, and out of the 20-40 hours per week that I spend at work, I spend maybe five minutes actually working, and the rest of the time fucking off online.

Con: pay is shit, but I don't feel like leaving because I doubt I will ever find another job like this.

NEET

I've stolen a few Xanax and Adderall tablets with no chance of getting caught. And the pay is really good for the amount of work I do.

>>11056095

That's a playboy girl now? How the mighty have fallen.

I'm in law enforcement so I basically get out of any traffic stop. Not that I even get pulled over often, I drive pretty normally and don't road rage. It definitely helped a few times when I got stopped after boozing and driving, but I don't even do that these days either. I can also carry a gun anywhere in my draconian state which is nice. At work itself there's not many perks. The job itself is pretty chill. There's a lot of downtime and we work 12's so I work 14 days a month so that's a plus I suppose

just about nothing at all, although i can get overtime if i ever ask for it

Head of my own office, boss doesn't come down but once a quarter. DAB ALL DAY LONG

>>11056095
I work as a data analyst and I regularly get to fuck the HR bitches on the side. Been contracted there for months now and I'll continue to contract things there for a lot longer if I play my cards right.

I take days off and go on vacation fairly often. I do about 6 vacations a year I would say. My boss is pretty cool, and handles my files for me when I'm away. Base salary and commision. I literally just sell money to business. I sell Merchant Cash Advances and Term Loans. Can't really complain since I've had my own office at the company since I was 22 (I'm 23 now)

>>11056095
Too old. Post something better

>>11057424
what the fuck do you work as?

>mostly have my own hours beyond a few obligations
>can take vacation whenever and for however long I want, but I never do
>free health and dental
>occasionally get to travel to boring places for free

I'm a grad student

>>11058783
I've been thinking of doing that after my phd because I've lost all interest in academia at this point

Built in employee restaurant that serves free food for lunch/dinner breaks. Soft ice cream machine, also free. Soda, also free. Everyone who drinks the soda is overweight.

One time I snatched a pair of dirty panties at work from this really hot college girl. They smelled like piss though

>>11056294
why do americans insist on making their chocolate taste like literal vomit?

>>11059196

And that's a good thing.

>>11056095
I'd pay 5eth to sniff a BBBBBRAAAAAPPP directly from her asshole

>>11056218
>Scala
Dropped. Should’ve just said Haskell alone

>>11056262

t. kneepad salesman

>>11056176
cp on your intranets?

>>11056095
Code monkey
Only work a couple of hours a day
Spent rest reading about topics i like or watching videos and shitposting

>>11056095
The job itself has just one perk of being laid back as fuck with just a few hours of actual work per day, but they put me in a secure basement room, so anyone with any authority over me has to schedule appointments and be buzzed down by me, so I can never be surprised or forced into a meeting. On day 2 of the job I discovered there's a bookshelf which hides a nearly camouflaged partition. I now have my main office and a hidden home away from home with a couch, TV, fridge, microwave and gaming PC. The room also has an emergency exit which joins it to underground parking so I only have to walk a few metres to the nearly empty lower floor.

I now do 99% of my work first thing in the morning and then hang out for a while before heading home at 2pm.

Access to medical sticky tapes. Also leftover fentanyl.

>>11056218
language x is the future not C++

lets see now
java
ruby
csharp

the only thing that has come close is javascript.

C++ basically is the best because its versatile and can into low level,

I sell glasses. I get to buy them at cost, which is nothing compared to the markup. Meanwhile, insofar as prices are high and customer intake is low, I spend most of my day shitposting on 4chan.

>>11058934
> german autism
it was a compliment

>>11060587
Doctor I suppose?

>>11060793
Theatre orderly

Unlimited drinks and I can do what I want, no time schedule. I'm just a paid intern for the moment though.

free whitening and other dental care products

>>11056095
At this point of my life? I have one.

>>11058908
nigger cock worshipper

>>11056095
I can browse /biz/ 80% of my "work" time.
I start work at 12 and finish at 7pm.
Salary is shit but, let's be honest, I don't deserve much for doing nothing.

>he doesnt shitpost on /biz/ 24/7

>>11059261
>Fake chocolate
>Fake cheese
>Fake country

Pick all

>>11056095
i work from home 4 days a week, 33 days PTO per year

>>11056095

when we are busy our boss pushes a slimjim into our cages

I do business in the Japanese game industry

Since I deal with confidential information with more or less every company there is within it I get to know about all the cool shit happening well in advance which make normies jelly as fuck

I am so central within it though that if I leak anything they can almost immediately trace it back to me so I cant say shit

I dont even play vidya though

Also work provides 30 minute free massage every day which is kind of cool I guess

>>11061774
>my dad works at nintendo

>>11057424
Holy fuck what's your job kek