/biz/ - Business & Finance

literally wgats a crypto

whats coins

idk what that is

can't force me to remember my seed password

>>10859760

>>10859760
Just work with them and be a rat. Youll help them bust the actual bad guys, get a fat paycheck, and have a cool lifestory on top of it all

>>10859784

>we knew you'd say that
>that's why we already sent your wallet.dat up to ft meade to be analyzed
>it's in your best interest to work with us, anon
>after all, you don't have anything to hide, do you?

>>10859760
>People actually think the government has enough resources to handle crypto and cash crimes.
Kek

>>10859760
I do not consent to any searches. I have nothing to say until I have received legal advice

These clowns couldn't find their arse with both hands, I'm pretty sure I'm safe

>>10859805
government is worst form of crime

>>10859886
Literally this. you don't have to answer any of their questions or even talk to them.

>>10859784
>can't force me to remember my seed password
how do you know what one of those is? lube up bud

>>10859869

They are bad at everything except extracting money from all of us.

>>10859760
nice try, FBI

>>10859886

>our quantum reality threat assessment center revealed that this would be one of your responses
>we backdoored the time-space continuum and already pre-determined the outcome of your jury trial
>in most favorable computation rendered says that you will be looking at 10 years in federal prison for not handing over your assets for forfeiture
>i ask you once more, will you cooperate anon?

>>10859886

>Hello, anon.
>My name is Ingelbert Humpeldink, federal prosecutor.
>I would have you know that the law pursuant to 18 U.S. Code § 981 relative to federal civil asset forfeiture requires that you hand over any asset "suspected" of being gained through illicit activity
>just make this easier on yourself and go along with the feds
>they're nice people with families just like you. do it for your country, anon.

>>10859760
FUCK OFF IM PLAYING MINECRAFT

>>10859760
FBI and associated government agencies are the largest holders of crypto currency.
Tor and the deepweb has been infiltrated node for node for several years now.

>>10859760
>>10859805
>>10859987
>>10860033
I lost it all in a virtual boating accident while playing deep sea fishing simulator 2017, I'm sure you understand.
Good day.

>>10859760
true story.. the other day my brother in law came over in a car id never seen before. we werent home so he was waiting in his car parked on the street in front of our house. i came home from the grocery store and pulled into the driveway and see someone parked and inside the car id never seen before. cant see who it is thru tinted windows. i get this sick feeling its an fbi agent here to question me about crypto for some reason or serve me a subpoena. i noped the fuck out and drove off when i saw him start to get out of his car. had to drive home in shame when he called me to let me know it was him he was just in a new (used) car
but i legit thought it was a cop coming for me becayse i mine monero or something lol

>>10860181

>confirmed

AM I BEING DETAINED?

>>10860202
This

>>10860202
No, Anon you're forgetting again, that's what you YELL at traffic cops

RAPE

>>10860124
fuckin kek

fuck yeah boi

>>10859784
>seed password
freudan slip. get rekt son.
>he knows
>call in the FBI fud

>>10859760
>we heard you've been dealing in anonymous internet money and frequenting racist image boards

Oh! You're only here about that and not the othe- nevermind, how can I help you?

>>10860124

maybe Tyrone will help you find it as long as you don't drop the soap

>tfw found evidence of the DoD snooping through my info

>>10860124

>>10860905
share it

Go down on a RICO warrant

>>10859760
can't touch this nigger lover

>>10859760
Joke's on you, pigs; my internet activities ultimately served only two purposes: to fill this kill house with livestreaming videocameras & fiendish deathtraps, and to lure you into it!
>jigsaw lietmotif from the 'saw' film series intensifies

my sides

Call the police because someone's impersonating the FBI.

>>10861382

>Hello, I want to play a game.

>>10861382
nice, personally, I've been storing buckets of feces for just the right opportunity. Hepatitis is a bitch.

>>10861989
ok

lets go

you cant fk with me

>>10860905
don't keep it to yourself g

>>10859760
> Let them in
> Remove toilet paper from toilet
> Offer them coffee
> Put laxative in coffee
> Use toilet paper as bargaining chip
> Profit

>>10859784
in the UK, you can be put to prison for forgetting your password kek
not in the us tho

>>10862013
>>10862014
>>10862116
>>10862168
>>10862278

>do you gentlemen really believe it will be that easy to escape?
>we have black sites all over the world
>you will work with us, willingly or otherwise

>>10859760
Fake amnesia

>>10862315
It's bedtime sweetie, put your toy soldiers away.

>>10862315
you got nothing bitch

>>10859760
Bitcorn?
I need to see my lawyer, I know nothing about bitcorns

>>10859760

They paying me? If so then it's a job offer, might go for it.