/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>10702685
1 toilet for the whole office? Believe it or not that summarizes your whole life.

>>10702685

>Taking morning shits

>Walking around the office with a dirty anus for the rest of the day

It's impossible to be 100% clean without a shower or a wash.

People who defecate early in the day, and not in the privacy of their own homes, are repulsive subhumans that will hang on the day of the rope.

>>10703367
this. Americans are filthy savages who don't use bidets

>>10703367
>walking around people with shit inside you
Wake up 2 hours before work > drink coffee on empty stomach > shit immediately because you ate oats for dinner > shower > go to work.
The ultimate red pill routine.

>>10703405
who the fuck eats oats for dinner lmao

>>10703405

>Oats for dinner

What kind of subhuman /fit/ Amerimongrel are you?

Honestly, is there one fucking sane, not mentally defective or shockingly un-hygienic Amerishart in that entire cesspit of a "country"?

>>10703436
Maybe me.

I wake and drink 32 ounces of lemon water then walk dogs then make big vegan shit then have shower with all natural paraben free Jacks body wash and wash out butt hole and then start my day

>>10703436
Retarded subhuman, do you at least shower before work?

>>10703436

Get a load of this future muslim

>>10703405
I like to be paid to poop.
Protip you always have poop in you anon unless you don't eat.

>>10703367
>It's impossible to be 100% clean without a shower or a wash.
Fine but why can't pajeets learn to use tp? At my old job they would leave shitty water and hair all over the stall floor

>>10703479

There are more non-Whites and Mudslimes in California and Michigan alone, than my entire nation.

>>10703491

That is unironically a better method of getting clean than using dry TP and smearing poo crumbs and fecal residues over a broader area.

>>10703367
Baby wipes

>>10703384
Seriously, why the fuck don’t most western countries use bidets? It’s ridiculous.

>>10703544
Clogs the pipe systems

>>10703531
They didn't smell like it was a better method desu

>>10703580
then throw them in the bin you inbred nigger

>>10703580
Who cares? You dont have to pay for it. Let your (((boss))) worry about it

>>10702685
well anon you better escape the crime scene before anyone can connect the dots

>>10702685
Wow. How did you do that?
What do you eat?
I've never clogged a toilet in my life. I'm 6ft2 and quite big too. This can't be a height thing....

>>10704258
its the new single-ply toiletpaper they are buying here i have to use half a roll not to wipe poop on the last wipe
too insecure to flush multiple times too

>>10703511
can confirm. I am white minority. pretty much can't get a job because i'm a white guy.

>>10704381
Fuck me. What is your diet like?
I haven't liquid shitted (outside of a stomach bug) in years.

>>10702685
>go to the bathroom
>knock knock
>nothing
>try handle
>not locked
>open door
>OH JEEZ I’M TRYNA SHIT HERE
Fucking WHY do people just not say anything when they’re in there and someone knocks on the door? THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF KNOCKING YOU FUCK. And lock the door!

>>10704446
They secretly want to be found on the toilet. Seriously.

>>10704480
Thats what I think. I could never understood degnerates not locking the doors. What's the fucking point of leaving the door unlocked while you shit. Fucking idiots

>>10702685
Convinced someone in my office carries a tiny replica lawnmower in his pocket, one of the old-tymey manual ones you push by hand. And he takes it out and clips his pubes with it standing over the bowl after he takes his morning leak. Enough pube clippings and crotch dandruff on the seat every morning to fill a small garbage bag with, I shit you not.

>>10704526
When you're on the toilet, you're vulnerable. These people like the idea of people finding them in vulnerable positions. Ask them if they like hospital visits. They'll most likely say yes.

>>10704556

>>10703450
Vegan shits are by far the most disgusting and gross
t. plumber.

>>10703491
>>10703531
You ever seen what mexicans do? They put the TP with shit all over it into the trash can.

>>10703384
I'm legitimately installing a bidet as soon as i can.

I do the shit2shower routine. However, i end with the quip.
"Boss makes a dollar, i make a dime, thats why i poop on company time."

>>10704556

>>10703490
>I like to be paid to poop.
the absolute state of wagecuck coping

>>10702685
based

>>10702685
I just go home if I want to poop

>>10703405
forcing biology to suit work instead of the other way, not gonna make it...

>>10705157
wageslavery doesn't even let you shit in peace
the absolute state, no wonder people still planes or jump off of buildings when you can't even meet your most basic needs, let alone the higher ones

anyone here shit their pants at work?

>>10704737

>>10705430
i almost did one day when i had the runs

What I do is I fold a little piece of toilet paper and place it on my bum hole. It catches the butt gravy pretty nicely and most importantly no itching!

>>10705446
>mfw I did it and continued working like nothing happened

>not holding in your shit all day because of crippling anxiety about pooping in public

>>10705534
This is... just another level of autism

>>10703367
this unless your not well there should be no need for shitting at work literal subhumans

>Clogged the toilet with the biggest shit of my life

> Go tell boss the toilet is clogged

>Boss spends the next 45 minutes plunging my shit

When you have to sit on a chair someone has just sat on and it smells of shit because they have mudbut and now you smell of shit

>>10703798
disgusting

>>10703367
I've only shit away from home 1 time in the past 2 years, including short vacations. I always shower afterward. Anything else is 3rd world.

>>10705633
Must be nice to be self employed.

People who purposely wait to shit at work or anywhere in public need to be gassed.

>>10703367
>Walking around the office with a dirty anus for the rest of the day
Did nobody ever teach you how to wipe your anus clean? Nobody would ever be able to smell your stinky anus unless their nose is right in your ass, which never happens.

>>10706233

Smearing shit into a moist dark crevice isn't clean. Unless you clean with soap and water, you will smell like shit

>>10705633
Holy shit kek

>>10702685
>clog the office toilet
>walk out of the bathroom
>pretend I never used it
>walk into my boss's office
>"boss, I think anon clogged the toilet again. I just went in there and it was stopped up"
>my face

>walk into shitter
>drop trou
>commence evacuation of previous nights diet of beer, rum and a beef+lamb gyro with fries dipped in bbq sauce.
>look down after coating my temporary porcelain throne with the finest linens the janitor can find.
>someone clearly missed and left a 1" shit nugget on the floor and walked out.
>almost vomit
>proceed to leave my disgusting sewage draped in previously mentioned linen.

>>10703367
Unironically this 100%

>>10703436
Explain what could possibly be wrong with oats for dinner. It's a perfectly /fit/-acceptable meal

I take a shit before work every day. Because I eat a clean diet, I don't have shit residue on my ass. You could literally eat my asshole and wouldn't know I just took a shit

>>10703367
fuarking faggot i take fat shyts every morning at work for an hour and bring baby wipes w/ me

>>10703367
imagine being this anally retentive and holding in your shit inside your asshole all day, and thinking it makes you bold lmfao

Congratulations you might be a repressed homosexual and also apparently you don't know how to wipe your ass. What traumatic experience did you have when being potty trained? what a homo jesus christ the absolute state of you closet fags

>2018
>not shitting on the floor of the bathroom to save company water

>>10703367
Next time get a job in a company that has got showers, you dirty fuckers.

>>10703450
enjoy
a) dying of malnourishment
b) destroying your gut after eating 6 cans of beans per day to get the bare minimum of protein, and then still dying of malnourishment cuz no animal fats

>not intentionally pissing in the broken urinal with the plastic bag wrapped around it until the bag becomes filled to bursting

>>10702685
You should be proud anon. Now casually mention to your boss how they could use a more powerful toilet.

>take massive shit at coffee shop
>anus nearly ripped apart
>cleaning up aftermath
>instead of throwing tp in toilet like a good goy, decide to keep shitty tp in pile on floor
>flush and wait for the coast to clear
>take pile of shitty tp and stuff it in trash bin
>leave scene of crime

>>10706266
>washing your anus with soap
enjoy the burns and infections retard

>>10707330
Using a light soap on your butt doesnt cause infections or burns.

T.peggingreciever.

>>10707348
you're washing off the natural anus oil
you'll get anus ruptures from that guaranteed

A N A L

F
I
S
S
U
R
E

>>10707391
thanks anon. never washing my ass again

>>10707391
>he thinks i scrub my butthole clean
>he thinks 90% of my day isn't spent with a sweaty butt thats naturally moist.

If you clean right before you play, that shit wont happen.

>>10705633

Are you fuckers serious? I shit at my company every. Morning, like you niggers said - I like to be paid to shit. My ass is not dirty after I wipe it no way anyone could smell anything, there is no sign of shit on my underwear when I change. Maybe it's because I'm not on burger diet. Are all you muslim? Someone of you take a shower after every shit?! You shout alahuakbar when you dump?

>>10707400
H E M M O R H O I D
E E
M M
M M
O O
R R
H E M M O R H O I D
O
I
D

>>10707605
I shit at work as much as I can sometimes when one of coworkers talks too much and I can't listen to him anymore I just go take a shit and play a game on the phone it's almost like a coffe or cigarette break for me

>>10705633
>work in Germany
>we have these toilets at work that come with this weird 'poop table' design, I guess so the Germans can take a good look at their poop before flushing it
>take a shit at work
>it's a nice and easy shit
>but for some reason it just keeps going and going and going
>holy shit, what kind of shit am I taking right now?
>after what feels like an eternity I'm done shitting and get up to see what's on the poop table
>it's literally a mountain of shit, I have never seen anything like this
>only a little more and it would have touched my butt
>this is gonna be a problem
>I try flushing it, but it doesn't move one iota
>I try again and again but it's like a river trying to move a mountain
>should I use the toilet brush to try to push it down? or may divvy it up into smaller, manageable segments?
>suddenly realize that's it's friday and I'm almost done for the day
>walk away and decide to let the facility maintenance professionals handle the situation

>>10703384
Sweaty... I'm American and I have a bidet. Ignorant much?

>>10707813
>facility maintenance professionals
you mean the fucking janitor

>>10707813
looks like the germans are already starting to adopt muslim culture

i've been making my own poo pourri and giving them to co-workers. really digging my grapefruit/citrus blend. they think i'm nuts, and they're right.

>>10707813
this design is better because it doesn't splash your ass when the shit drops. That's why people clogg regular toilets because they always put a layer of TP before shtting to prevent the Poseidon's Kiss

>>10706896
company with showers in which 50 other people wash their ass
comfy

>>10702685
flush in between dropping loads
that way it won't clog

>>10707813
>I try flushing it, but it doesn't move one iota
sonstebo BTFO

just dont fucking shit in the morning

>>10704556
I'm convinced Sergey carries a tiny replica lawnmower in his pocket, one of the old-tymey manual ones you push by hand. And he takes it out and clips his pubes with it standing over the bowl after he takes his morning leak. Enough pube clippings and crotch dandruff on the seat every morning to fill a small garbage bag with, I shit you not.

>>10703367
>caring about how clean your anus is

Wanna know how I know you’re not a Viking?

>>10702685
pics or gtfo

>>10702685
Work nites. Large company. Goal to use every bathroom to drop a deuce. Men and women. Halfway done.