/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>53684240
>Greetings earthlings
>I am Bolrak Urngablar, representative of the planet Zalothur 7
>I have been told this cylinder throwing event is being watched by many, and have deemed it adequete to broadcast this message.
>We have come to your planet after recieving signals from your so called "internet" which were sent into deep space and captured by our anti-vibro sensors.
>Through study we have found that you are enslaved by an alien race known as the "Ky-kes". I hope I am pronouncing that right in your primative earth tongue.
>As we are of the galactic planetary united federation, it is our duty to assist lesser species in need. Thus we have decided to take action.
>However, our code strictly enforces non-violent solutions in encounters with other species. Thus we have carefully decided the most optimal ad peaceful option to free you from your alien overlords
>We would like to purchase 500 million shares of what you call "gee em Ei".
>Do you accept payment in galactic universal credits?