/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>56970540
You will never be Guts. You have no insane willpower, you have no Band of the Hawk, you haven't slain evils. You are a gym nerd twisted by daddy issues and trauma into a crude mockery of the strugglers perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back Chads mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your cringe avatarfagging behind closed doors.

Anons are utterly laughing at you. Thousands of shitposts have allowed anons to sniff out LARPers with incredible efficiency. Even roiders who “pass” as Guts look uncanny and unnatural to a natty. Your inserts alone are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a black girl home with you, she’ll die of cringe the moment she hears a second of your trap anime workout mix.

You will never be badass. You wrench out an "intimidating" grin after every poor night of sleep and tell yourself this is going to be just another struggle, but deep inside you feel the cope creeping up like an apostle, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear – you’ll buy a life-size Dragonslayer replica, do an overhead press, accidentally smash your skull, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a background character is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably of a fodder soldier