/biz/ - Business & Finance

>another 8 hour jail term finished
>currently fantasising about emailing my boss a list of their inappropriate behaviour in that matter of fact manner that is indicative of "covering your ass" emails
>trying not to think about it
>currently strongly considering a binge

What are some books about that feeling when life is passing me by? I feel like I can't get a grip on anything in life and I'm a mere spectator. I passed university and got a good job and so on but I still feel this.

I waste all my free time on internet browsing. I waste all my spare money on junk food and coffee. I don't do anything productive in my free time. I don't do anything that takes real effort in my free time. This has been going on for years, and really intensely for the past 1.5 years, with nothing productive done in my free time.

I'm also an ugly beta male and I'm blackpilled. My life is on hard mode and this demotivates me. I know other people get everything handed to them.

I'm 28 and my youth has been utterly wasted. I haven't gone travelling. I have never had female attention or gone to parties or had any hobbies I was passionate about. Inertia and procrastination run my life.

>Friday night
>lying in bed, browsing internet on phone as the normies enjoy life
>Google "LinkedIn linklaters training contract" and feel jelly
>not even a lawyer, just feel sad that these people are on the fat track to riches

I'm so bored of life.

I'm an ugly meek charismaless nofriends beta 28 year old male so everything social is closed off.

Reading books has become boring. I see most novels as self indulgence by the authors. Films and TV are boring as well and I have barely watched any in the past few years, and little TV in the years before that.

I'm too lazy and lacking in initiative and motivation to do productive stuff in my free time. I feel like I'm stuck on driftwood in the middle of an ocean, with all islands of success being far away, as the normies are on a cruise ship and can just enjoy the ride.

I'm going to start a job soon and little will change except I'll have less free time. I'm not normie enough to be promoted quickly.

There's nothing to explore. All satisfying career paths require specialisation and autism to succeed in. Even genius programmers and scientists have to become managers after they hit their main goals.

As an ugly beta, being outside is humiliating.

I go to the gym but any deviation from perfect sleep leads to it being a waste of time. It's a chore.

All tasty food is unhealthy or is a chore to cook. Drinking coffee gives me an aimless buzz.

Wasting my time on the internet is my opioid.

>wake up
>drink coffee, eat food, do chores
>drive outside in the very hot and sunny weather
>go for a long walk
>listen to podcasts, see more Staceys in my hometown than I have for a long time, become demoralised as fuck
>saw one guy with his instagrammable gf and felt sad as fuck
>saw a happy fat guy with his fat gf
>saw assorted GigaStaceys, packs of Jailbaceys
>realising just now that there were so many people enjoying the sun so this "DUDE, eVeRYBODY speNdS aLL ThEir dAyLIgHt HoUrS cHAiNeD tO a DESk AT A bOriNG JOB, juST be MOTivAteD Bro!" bullshit really was bullshit (like I noticed last summer in Regents Park)
>have gone back home but will go driving outside again, for coffee and reading and possibly one last binge

I went to London recently for a short time and the place was kind of mundane. I went looking for flatshares because they're cheaper but the quality and size of the rooms, costing a few hundred less per month than my previous one person flat, were horrendous.

I may have my final binge right now. In the previous 3 days the only bad thing I've had is half a chocolate bar (the 200 g ones), and my weight was 2.5 kg less than the last time I checked.

I had to ask my parents for money and they asked how I could have wasted so much and then immediately gave me money. I felt guilty for about half a day but ultimately I am a beta incel loser with life on hard mode so there's nothing I can do. Self-restraint, hard work, grit: These are celebratory labels spoken by people with easy lives.

I am going to start a new job soon. I am awaiting the moment my coworkers figure out I'm a loser with no major hobbies.

I have have no personality and no passions. I've read so many boring pseudy books for the pseud cred, I don't even like books anymore.

I'm such a hopeless consumercuck, though ironically I invented the phrase consumercuck/producerbull dichotomy.

I just had a big burger king binge and I need to give up junk food now or else I'll be fat as fuck when I go back to London.

I couldn't talk about any topic for 10 minutes in any depth.

I'm so ugly and meek and beta. My life is on hard mode.

For over 5 years I have wasted the vast majority of my free time on mindless internet browsing. I don't have the initiative to do productive stuff in my free time.

I'm 28. My youth is wasted. I had lots of free time and I wasted it. My life from now will be a 9-5 black hole grind. 5 o'clock if I'm lucky.

I have wasted incredible amounts of money on junk food and coffee. I should be financially secure. But I'm not.

I'm a nofriends loser. I haven't had any friends since school, female attention ever, or ever been to a pub, club, or party. I'm too blackpilled to have motivation.

I am unironically jealous of zoomers for their youth and social media happiness.

I hated my boring degree, so I missed out on any intellectually productive work. I have read many books but only for the pseud cred, so I have forgotten almost everything.

I can't stand life rules or systems. All spooks feel like I am being existentially cucked. I want to stay within the primordial spookless state but it leaves me so vulnerable.

Normies have easy fucking lives. They simply glide through institutions filled with normies while being judged solely on their normieness.

For years I have binged on junk food almost every day and lately it has become more frequent and I'm genuinely fat.

I'm British but I can't handle the bantz. I'm not American but I'm fat. I'm an autist with no attention span. I have above average intelligence but nothing to think of but my loserdom. I exercise but have an awful diet.