/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>58136917
I sell um....supplements, but I've been thinking about getting into the catalytic converter business, if you know what I mean. My first job was obtaining bicycles and then just walking around shouting "$10 gets you this bike!"

And before you ask, I couldn't possibly be whiter. I don't know what it is but I just can't make straight money. Closest I've ever come was ripping off old people at the casinos playing low limit Texas Hold 'em on SSI day. I mean, they DO consent to lose their money.

However my real job is working with my friend to scope out fat women with good jobs, and then he'll really aggressively panhandle (he's quite scary looking) and then I show up and pretend I know how to put him in an arm lock and then force him to "apologize to the lady," use that to establish rapport with her, go on a date, throw in some bullshit about how my dad and I owned a martial arts studio but we had to sell it to pay for his cancer treatments and now he's dead and I'm out of a job.....move in with her, mooch off her in exchange for sex and "protection" (whenever they get started about me getting a job, I lie and say I got a security job but then for some reason some creepy looking dude tried to break into her apartment at 3AM while I'm at work and now I MUST stay home and protect you). It usually runs its course after about a year, at which point I borrow their jewelry and move on to the next one.

As soon as I get some power tools though I think my "next rung" in the catalytic converter business will be quite profitable.