/biz/ - Business & Finance

I'm a Muslim man but I have to admit that pregnant Sergey really turns me on. I keep fantasizing about putting my seed inside him and watching new life grow... We get married, he gives birth, and we raise that baby under the blessings of Allah. I want to hold hands with Sergey, and looking into his eyes say 'I love you.' I think of myself taking our son to his first day at school, watching that strong and masculine boy develop amazing computer skills like his dad.

Sergey would be the ideal partner for any man wishing to start a family. His great genes give him a combination of assertiveness, strength, and intelligence. If Sergey is able to get pregnant, he has to have a uterus; if he has a uterus, he can only be a woman in the eyes of Allah. ALLAHU AKHBAR!!!

Ok, I can't hide this anymore. It's coming from deep inside of me... this desire to shout...

I'M A GAY MUSLIM AND I HOLD CHAINLINK! Yes, and I am not the only one. I was attracted to this community because of the feeling of brotherhood that it creates. Together we are one. We are above gender divisions and categories. Chainlink, as you know, is a gay sex position where men stick their dicks into each other's asses to form a link.

Today, I declare Chainlink to be the currency of the LGBT community.

I'M GAY AND I HOLD CHAINLINK. YES! I'M GAY AND I LOVE SERGEY! WOW! I'M GAY AND YOU ARE TOO! TOGETHER, WE ARE GAY LINKIES AND NOTHING CAN STOP US!

I'M GAY! AND I LOVE TO SAY IT! I'M GAY, I'M GAY, I'M GAY AND I WORSHIP SERGEY! CHAINLIK! CHAINLIK! CHAINLIK!

NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!
NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!
NO MORE CHAINS,JUST LINKS!

I was at the consensus chat today. At one point an audience member called Sergey a sandwich fucker. He even accused Sergey of eating the sandwiches after busting loads into them. There was an intense bit of silence while Sergey glared. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead immediately, and his face was flush. He forced a chuckle into the microphone. Then he walked off stage and just out of the room where there was a magazine rack. He was still in full view of everyone through a window. He starts taking these magazines, two and three at a time, and just tearing them to shreds. Sometimes he would pick one up, and try to twist and tear the whole thing at once, but fail, so then he would start ripping out individual pages. He was facing away from everyone, so we couldn't see his facial expressions. This went on for two minutes at least. At this point I thought he was totally screwed, and that he had just ruined the reputation of chainlink in one fell swoop. However, he turned around and walked back into the room. He looked completely rejuvinated and full of vigor again. He proceeded to completely btfo the accuser in every way, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened and then announced the mainnet. Afterwards, he even did a little q&a session after the guy left due to being frustrated from the btfo. Janitorial services were picking up the mess of shredded magazines at this point, and the only acknowledgement Sergey ever made to the mess was when one of the older janitors fell over while leaning to pick up the pieces. He sort of covered his hand with his mouth, clearly holding back laughter. It was bizarre, but with genius comes inevitable personality quirks.

*HONK*
*HONK*
*HOOOOONK*

I have an announcement everybody!!!! *HONK* Everybody, I have an announcement!!!!! *HONK* *HONK*

I have an announcement everybody!!!! *HONK* Everybody, I have an announcement!!!!! *HONK HONK*

*blows up balloon and makes a balloon dog* This announcement is gonna be monumental!!!!!!

*sprays water from fake flower* The biggest *slaps you with rubber chicken* most amazing announcement *pulls string and bowtie spins like a fan* you'll ever hear in your life!!!!!!!!! *HONK HONK*

Get ready, for *takes off size 30 shoe, inflating a giant balloon hammer, then whacks you with it* the announcement *starts pulling line of multi-colored cloth from throat* to end all announcements!!!!!!!! *HONK HONK HONK*

Here, just lean your head in closer to this sack of announcements and you'll hear it!!!!!!!

Closer...

Clooooosssseerrrr...

*HOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNKKKKKKKK*
*presses a coconut pie into your face*

I'M GOING TO CREAMPIE THE PUSSY OF THIS LITTLE BEAUTY TO MY RIGHT!!!! LINK $1000 EOY!!!!!

And that's it!!!!!!!!!

*HONK HOOOOOOONK* I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT

*BLOWS UP BALLOON*

I JUST HAD AN EXCELLENT FOURSOME WITH SOME FRIENDS OF MINE FROM THE CIRCUS *CUMS ON A PIE BASE*

AND GUESS WHAT?

*RUBS YOUR FACE IN THE CUM COVERED PIE*

And that's it!!!!!!