/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>52451761
for uvxy

UVXY

>>52225688
vix futures are green o ye of little faith

what are we guessing for jobless claims tomorrow

>>19750015

Who here invested long-term in CEO Mike?

>>17873681

>>17675374
no
iron mike is the CEO of UVXY

To our Shareholders,
in these trying times...

We here at UVXYinc. regret to inform you that today's error was a result of some huge fucking faggots that were not ready to fuck the market They, like the pussy ass wh*te bithes they is, bent over and spread for some nigga named Jerome. Our Human Resources dept. is in the process of initiating a lengthy investigation into the matter, and should be finished within 5-7 trading days. So far, we have identified and dealt with many of the biggest faggots, but it remains to be seen in the next few days whether more faggots come to light. Rest assured, my precious shareholders, they will be found and taught a fucking lesson. FINRA ain't got fucking SHIT on what imma bout to do to these lil niggas. I'm gonna rip their fucking tiny ass little wh*teboi diccs off, then shove it down their fucking throats so fucking hard they'll be shitting em out. I'll find their fucking wives, fornicate with the fucking whores, then when the baby comes out imma fuck that too then shove it back inside that nasty ass cunt.

As a way to apologize to our loyal shareholders, we have put together a small presentation of me, Dr. Micheal Tyson, personally dealing with these fucking faggots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImxUpS1UseA
As you ill likely see, these bitches ain't got shit. We know that this will not be enough to satisfy some shareholders, but nevertheless, once the investigation into the rampant faggotry, that had become endemic within some of our staff, is complete, we will be looking into starting up a brand new stock buyback program.
We look forward to sharing a very bright future with all of you, and eagerly anticipate reporting a KNOCKOUT Earnings Report to you all next quarter.

Fuck the market.
Fuck it till it loves you.

Sincerely,
Dr. Michael "Iron Mike" Tyson, CEO of UVXYinc™

>>15788985
>betting against UVXY
>on the morning of their biggest ER all year
heh
tough luck kiddo

huh i guess i DID have a couple of these backed up

>>11715049
>idk why but i don't trust you
>not trusting the current most investment-savvy man on earth who makes Buffett-sama his columbian prison bitch

personal favorite

>>10985384

FUCK ALL THIS GAY ASS SHIT AND BUY UVXY

Sunday Futures edition


Popular brokers for stock trading:

Robinhood
>commission free and no minimum to open
http://www.robinhood.com

> How is it free?
Robinhood earns revenue by collecting interest on cash/securities and fees from their Robinhood Gold service

> It's been X days, why isn't my account verified yet?
Not being approved in 3 days seems to be the new norm. Nevertheless, call/email their support if you've been waiting more than that.

> When is it coming to my country?
The only "plans" are on an Australian and Chinese beta. Neither of which has gained much traction.

Interactive Brokers
>$1 commission per 100 shares. $10k minimum to open, $3k if 25 or under. Lowest margin interest. Free API access
http://www.interactivebrokers.com

TD Ameritade
>$6.95 commission per trade. No minimum to open. Fantastic data/charting through their free ThinkorSwim service
http://www.tdameritrade.com

Degiro (Cheap broker for Europeans)
http://www.degiro.eu

Free in depth charts:
http://www.tradingview.com

Premarket Movers:
http://www.nasdaq.com/extended-trading/premarket-mostactive.aspx

Earnings Report Calendars:
https://biz.yahoo.com/research/earncal/today.html
https://www.earningswhispers.com/calendar

Biopharma Catalyst Calendar:
https://biopharmcatalyst.com/

Pump and Dump Advertising:
https://stocktwits.com

S&P 500 VIX Futures (For SVXY/UVXY, higher is better for UVXY, lower is better for SVXY)
https://www.investing.com/indices/us-spx-vix-futures

BUY MORE UVXY OR IMMA FUCK YOU UP FAGGOT

>>9503357
>dat UVXY annoucement
goodbye my sides

CEO Mike announcement edition

Popular brokers for stock trading:
Robinhood
>commission free and no minimum to open
http://www.robinhood.com

> How is it free?
Robinhood earns revenue by collecting interest on cash/securities and fees from their Robinhood Gold service

> It's been X days, why isn't my account verified yet?
Not being approved in 3 days seems to be the new norm. Nevertheless, call/email their support if you've been waiting more than that.

> When is it coming to my country?
The only "plans" are on an Australian and Chinese beta. Neither of which has gained much traction.

Interactive Brokers
>$1 commission per 100 shares. $10k minimum to open, $3k if 25 or under. Lowest margin interest. Free API access
http://www.interactivebrokers.com

TD Ameritade
>$6.95 commission per trade. No minimum to open. Fantastic data/charting through their free ThinkorSwim service
http://www.tdameritrade.com

Degiro (Cheap broker for Europeans)
http://www.degiro.eu

Free in depth charts:
http://www.tradingview.com

Premarket Movers:
http://www.nasdaq.com/extended-trading/premarket-mostactive.aspx

Earnings Report Calendar:
https://biz.yahoo.com/research/earncal/today.html

Biopharma Catalyst Calendar:
https://biopharmcatalyst.com/

Pump and Dump Advertising:
https://stocktwits.com

S&P 500 VIX Futures (For SVXY/UVXY, higher is better for UVXY, lower is better for SVXY)
https://www.investing.com/indices/us-spx-vix-futures

Basic rundown on Options:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBAQtjyqNHw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuTTzfa4ePE

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