/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>50902213
>So I'm on vacation with my waifu pillow, we're eating at a historic KFC/Taco Bell restaurant. I waddle up to a lovely older couple, wipe the fried chicken crumbs from my neckbeard and introduce myself. "Hi I'm ApeDRS42069, this is my wife CumSockiSan. They're very sweet and telling us which stores nearby sell the best FunkoPops (I'm a collector) while in town. I am American and thus we start discussing 4Chan and The January 6th FREEDOM MOVEMENT (STOP THE STEAL!!!). Naturally I blurted out about GME because everyone I meet needs to hear about it. As he's gasping for air (the combination of Doritos Locos Tacos and KFC on my breath made it hard for him to breathe easily) I blurt out "DONT YOU KNOW THAT KEN GRIFFIN IS A MAYONAISE AND APES ARE FLINGING POO AT HIM!?!?!?" He replies "WTF are you talking about?"
>I have absolutely no idea who this guy is, but my little pp gets hard when I have a chance to blurt out about GME. He then tells me "I'm not a fucking retard, I'm shorting that shit to the ground.". I kind of get upset, so I start snuggling and humping my waifu pillow to calm down.
>He refused to give me his full name at first, but then grudgingly said his name was "Turd Ferguson". I googled his first name along with some of the financial terms I know like "crayons, to the moon, diamond penis, and DRS"... you know the high level stuff. Guys... this guy is a big deal, he looks a bit like Burt Reynolds. HE KNOWS ABOUT MAYONAISE! And mayo made more money than me last year.
>I will probably get backlash for the following, I get it.... Please understand once again I have no idea how anything actually works, and I just like shouting at strangers. I thought I was helping him.
>Turd Ferguson and his firm are 100% long on mayonnaise and think we're retarded. I tried telling him about our used jpeg shop and he said "OMFG you're really putting your money on that stupid shit... you're literally the dumbest person I ever met. I can't wait to take all of your money."