/biz/ - Business & Finance

>*tap*
>*tap*
>Hello? Is this-
>Welcome, gentlemen. Before I make the announcement, I would like to thank all of you for coming here. Many of you have come from long and far to be here with us, Anon even came to us all the way from /x/!
>*laughter*
>I would also like to thank Anon, for making it here despite still recovering from her recent transition surgery. You are an inspiration to us all... You go girl!
>*applause*
>For the past several years, /biz/ has been a cornerstone of autism in the investing community. You have all been extremely generous in your shitposting, we here are all very thankful of your continued loyalty to us.
>Thank you.
>*applause*
>Now, the announcement! We a-
>*applause*
>Thank you, thank you. We are excited to announce today...
>Fuck jannnies!
>Fuck trannies!
>*thunderous applause*
>Fuck niggers!
>Fuck spics!
>*cheering and whistling*
>Fuck gooks!
>Fuck chinks!
>*crowd is loosing their minds*
>And most of all, fuck you!
>*applause ceases*
>*crowd is confused*
>Yes, you heard me correctly! This is not a joke, fuck all of YOU! You pieces of shit have destroyed the board, tricking innocent beginners into losing their hard earned money and filling your pockets with it!
>*crowd begins booing*
>*men begin to yell curses*
>I sincerely hope that you all die choking on your own blood, and today you will! You will all be dead within the next ten minutes!
>*crowd goes silent*
>*gas begins to enter from the air vents*
>*crowd begins to panic*
>*people attempt to leave through the doors but to no avail, they are all locked*
>*the host puts on a gas mask and leaves through a door behind the stage*
>*people rush to the same door in Hope of escape*
>*the door is locked*
>*the room slowly suffocates as everybody scramble to find a way out*
>*there are no survivors*

I trust you're all DCA into the market of index funds like responsible young adults, hmm anon?