/biz/ - Business & Finance

>28
>Not even going to mention it

All I care about is money. It's revolting how much I care about money.
I worry constantly about going bankrupt and every day I look at my finances I change my gameplan entirely based off of this fear.
One day I feel like I'll make it without any real struggle, the other I'm thinking about pawning off all my furniture and hobomaxxing in my house.

>"Turn off the heating, take cold showers, flip antique coins online. If you don't do this you'll be destitute in a year."
>"Wait, things are looking up, you can afford that steak tonight. Don't worry. You'll be alright."
>"Fuck, I forgot about this arbitrary cost to what I'm planning on doing and it'll put me in the red in 5 months if I'm not careful. Shouldn't have had that steak."
>"I can't believe I'm being this stingy on food. What is the point of life if I can't even eat well when I'm working 10 hours a day?"
>"It's over. I'm one of those dumbasses that sank a quarter of his cash into a business venture that's going to become insolvent in no time. I should hang myself."
>"Fuck it. I'm going all in. It's sink or swim and I'm going to swim because fuck you drowning fucks, it's not going to be me."
>"It's going to be me. What did I do? I should have cashed out and bought some acreage in the country and work on healing my mind from this fucking greed."
>"This is my Odyssey - I'll climb up from under the heaps of shit and grow into a giant. They will read about me in the papers and I will look down on the masses from an ivory tower."
>"Maybe a bullet to the head is the best way. Some divine providence at last: choosing how I go out. It's all useless in the end anyway."

It's like this EVERY FUCKING WEEK
I can't escape it. I was better off as a teenager sitting in my own stink in college.
I've postponed renovations on my apartment 6 fucking times in as many months because I'm too scared to spend money, and then get frustrated over living in a construction site.

I fucking hate this shit.