/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>19556178

I was only 9 years old.
I loved Sergey so much, I had all the LINK and .
I pray to Sergey every night, thanking him for the life I’ve been given. “Sergey is love” I say, “Sergey is life."
My dad hears me and calls me a stain stinker. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Sergey.
I called him a noLINKer.
He hits me and sends me to sleep.
I'm crying now and my face hurts.
I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm...
It's Sergey! I was so happy.
He whispers in my ear "This is my decentralized oracle."
He grabs me with his ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready.
I spread my wallet cheeks for Sergey.
He penetrates my 401K.
It hurts so much, but I do it for Sergey. I can feel my solvency tearing and eyes watering.
I want to please Sergey.
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my multisig vault with his LINK.
My dad walks in.
Sergey looks him straight in the eye and says,
"It's all ogre now."
Sergey leaves through my window.
Sergey is love. Sergey is life.

>23
>40k
>70% cash, 20% BTC, 5% foreign stocks, 5% S&P ETF
BTC is my inflation hedge of choice. If the fed wasn’t so fucked I’d basically be holding all cash since I plan to buy a house when the market drops. If they don’t let it drop though and bailout the property owners I really just might lose my shit.

Financially speaking how do we profit from the NEET incel menace?