/biz/ - Business & Finance

>been working in job for months and other people in my team are in their 20s and I'm an early 30s ugly beta who doesn't talk to anyone
>was asked on my second day if I wanted to go drinking after work and I refused and wasn't asked since
>decide, fuck it, I'll try to be happy and social, that's what all the people in the cool stories do, even the overtly self-proclaimed introverted ones
>go to after work drinks
>walk just behind the coworkers awkwardly on the way there and wasn't talking to them so I pretended to tie my shoelaces so they went ahead and then I could walk alone to the pub
>feeling so pathetic but then that's how everyone feels, allegedly
>order most generic looking drink
>sit kind of near other people, maybe half a foot further away from everyone else than most people are
>face burning with cringe and everythingstential crisis makes me feel like I have a hollow head
>other people awkwardly seem to acknowledge me with their body language as the weird guy they have to just about acknowledge out of politeness by tilting their bodies and heads 1 degree towards me
>everyone talks about generic normie shit relating to their large friend groups, social activities, holidays, and fun nights out
>too loud to hear people easily
>at one point the two overtly-mechanically friendly people sitting nearest to me ask if I had any Christmas holiday plans and I said no, not really
>tried to half about but still felt I was speaking too quietly
>they still seemed to hear me, I think
>cringe off the charts
>they go back to talking
>look at phone repeatedly
>after 20 minutes I just put my glass back and walk out
>cringe off the charts but then the cool night air washes over me like a perfectly relaxing bath and I walk home quickly and upright, with heightened attention towards the normies passing by, as if I'm trying to focus energy towards them in a way that says "I'm just like you, I just came from regular socialising like anyone else"

>when you realise your parents significantly failed you by not encouraging you to go to the most prestigious university you could've gone to, didn't set up a trust fund and save money for me from birth, and didn't allow me to play team sports

What the FUCK was the point of family holidays?

>be me
>early 30s
>ugly beta male
>no friends since school, no female attention ever, university was a boring social void
>in boring corporate job
>become the ugly loser loner at the bottom of all social hierarchies that nobody talks to within a week of all my jobs
>get treated like shit by managers and coworkers
>no happy memories of my 20s, just found myself wasting my time alone and struggling to get one foot on the career ladder that normies easily get on straight after university
>getting any interest from a girl feels unimaginable
>get treated as the odd person out in every environment, as if people know general social rules don't apply to me and I'm to be treated as if I'm radioactive
>no productive hobbies or interests; feel aimless during all free time
>believe in no philosophies or systematic belief systems
>inb4 "go to gym"; I do but it solves nothing
>live in UK and save boringly normal amounts of money and too much on rent
>life feels totally sterile and the UK feels like a decaying museum filled with a normie hivemind
>20s passed by with no worthwhile experiences
>haven't been on holiday abroad for many years

>be me
>early 30s
>ugly beta male
>no friends since school, no female attention ever, university was a boring social void
>in boring corporate job
>become the ugly loser loner at the bottom of all social hierarchies that nobody talks to within a week of all my jobs
>get treated like shit by managers and coworkers
>no happy memories of my 20s, just found myself wasting my time alone and struggling to get one foot on the career ladder that normies easily get on straight after university
>getting any interest from a girl feels unimaginable
>get treated as the odd person out in every environment, as if people know general social rules don't apply to me and I'm to be treated as if I'm radioactive
>no productive hobbies or interests; feel aimless during all free time
>believe in no philosophies or systematic belief systems
>inb4 "go to gym"; I do but it solves nothing
>live in UK and save boringly normal amounts of money and too much on rent
>life feels totally sterile and the UK feels like a decaying museum filled with a normie hivemind
>20s passed by with no worthwhile experiences
>haven't been on holiday abroad for many years