/biz/ - Business & Finance

Imagine the following....

Bang! you get rudely awoken by the television. It's Cramer screaming at you! "Pay out for BBBY holders as they move on to the new stock exchange provided by tZero."
You look at your account, you’ve been issued $44 per share, plus allocated new shares on the new exchange. Then the real fun happens…..

The exits are closing and shorts are desperately buying to close their positions. Cramer begins to urinate his pants live on television. The price of the new ticker keeps rising. $300..$400..$500..$600, you can't believe it. You think to yourself "shall I cash out?" But you don't. You just stand there mesmerised watching it climb and climb.

You're now worth $11.5 million dollars, you take out loans against your position, you decide to go on vacation. Nasty women who have had sex with the most disgustingly, seedy men such as Doug Seafood keep coming on to you. This is your life now. You’ve finally made it. In that moment you feel triumphant.

You're sat in a bar in the departure lounge as you prepare yourself for 10 weeks in St Kitts. Suddenly the television catches everyones attention, it's Biden giving a national address.

"We are going to war with Russia, the draft will be for all men under the age of 50, from here on out all flights will be grounded. Let's go get em champs"

Imagine the following.

Bang! you get rudely awoken by the television. It's Cramer screaming at you! "Pay out for BBBY holders as they move on to the new stock exchange provided by tZero."
You look at your account, you’ve been issued $44 per share, plus allocated new shares on the new exchange. Then the real fun happens…..

The exits are closing and shorts are desperately buying to close their positions. Cramer begins to urinate his pants live on television. The price of the new ticker keeps rising. $300..$400..$500..$600, you can't believe it. You think to yourself "shall I cash out?" But you don't. You just stand there mesmerised watching it climb and climb.

You're now worth $11.5 million dollars, you take out loans against your position, you decide to go on vacation. Nasty women who have had sex with the most disgustingly, seedy men such as Doug Seafood keep coming on to you. This is your life now. You’ve finally made it. In that moment you feel triumphant.

You're sat in a bar in the departure lounge as you prepare yourself for 10 weeks in St Kitts. Suddenly the television catches everyones attention, it's Biden giving a national address.

"We are going to war with Russia, the draft will be for all men under the age of 50, from here on out all flights will be grounded. Let's go get em champs"