/biz/ - Business & Finance

>Earned 1.5m off of Gamestop stock, starting at 30k
>Already sold
>Sitting in my account
>No job, collecting unemployment
>Account collects more in dividends than I did working
>No motivation to get a job
>37 year old virgin, so purchase service from a clean hooker
>Refuse to do purchase until STD test is shown
>No longer virgin
>Also it wasn't that great
>Realize I have nothing left to do in life

I realize its not a huge fortune or anything, but its a big sum a lot of people would want. I'm not going to move, my bills are less than 1k a month total, excluding food, 2BR2B house is paid and I live alone, so I think I'll order Dominos every day or something so I can accelerate my death. They'll know I'm dead when I don't make an order that day. I'll live in my will that half of the money is burned and the other half goes to whichever Domino's delivery white girl had the largest pair of breasts that delivered food to me.