Hah finally! "Green as shit", I've waited for this.
Do you know they called me mad when I told them my shit was green? And by "them" I mean everybody. The postman, the waitress, the kids playing across the road --- I even offered to show them but stress made me pucker up and they threatened to call the police.
In time I came to understand the world had changed --- I had slipped between realities, into one where our internal colors were different. I spent thousands of hours looking for people like myself, mostly on fetish pornography sites, but could find nothing, only dye eaters and Play-doh enemas. I even suspected I was mad, until a strike of panic diarrhea again convinced me otherwise.
Green. Green, shimmering, glittering, radiant green. Mysterious green shit. (And accusations of filters, cries for censorship... when I tried to approach the media, angry denunciations from the postal service.)
But now you! You! Anon, my brother! You know that shit is green! Tell me: how? why? what? and how do we return to our own emerald world?