/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>55411637
Well of course us baby boomers are going to rescue the economy, just as we always have! We built this country into what it is today through decades of hard work and sacrifice, and now we've amassed a staggering $75 trillion in wealth to enjoy in our golden years. While those pesky millennials were wasting their money on frivolities like "avocado toast" and racking up student loan debt, we were investing in homes, businesses, and the stock market.

Our massive nest eggs will power consumer spending for years to come, single-handedly staving off any recession fears. We don't need excess savings or stimulus checks—we have more money than we know what to do with! Required minimum distributions? Pah, that's barely a drop in the bucket. We'll spend with abandon on luxury cruises, fancy RVs, and whatever else suits our fancy without a care for expense.

The youth today could stand to take some notes. While millennials struggle under the burden of student loans and financial hardship, we built an economic promised land and now reap the rewards of decades of prosperity and investing in the future. Of course, that very same future is now uncertain given challenges like climate change, inequality, and geopolitical chaos, but that won't stop our generation from enjoying a lavish retirement after sacrificing so much to shape the world we now live in.

Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief—the baby boomers have arrived like the calvary, money bags in hand, to single-handedly prop up the economy. You're welcome, America! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the country club for a round of golf in my new Corvette. The youngsters can go back to eating their avocado toast while we take care of business, as usual. The future is bright as long as we baby boomers are still here to fund it!