/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>58379202
> not having oil & gas or precious metal stocks
you deserve everything that's happening to you and more

>>58073361
Go into $TLT before the crash

I warned you

*FUH-LICK*

*flick*
One down. Two to go.

S&P will fall 4% and NASDAQ will fall 7%

The bitcoin ETF is the biggest nothingburger of the year.
Not elaborating further btw.

Oh, hey there, guess who's a leveraged to the hilt bear now

I covered my S&P short. I can't get a feel which way it's going here.

*FLICK*
oh, hey mumu, didn't see you there

*FLICK*

*flick* ok, ok, no big deal...
A-alexa, cancel my kids college application.
Market cover my AMZN and move it all over to a leveraged AAPL short.
Google "what to do as a newly minted retiree"

***FLICK***

*flick*
>Alexa pull up GOOGL, AMZN and APPL on my array of refurbished 4:3 screens
>1 minute candles, heikin ashi, zoom way in
>margin my whole account between the three and market sell
>once AMZN and GOOGL reach down 10%, cover and all in market sell AAPL for the grand finale
>also, get mumu on a video chat sometime before 4

*flick*
Oh look it's the fed's preferred inflation measure dropping in one minute

Feeling pretty good about all that TSLS and TSLQ I loaded up on in the last few weeks.

>futures

>futures

*fumbles because of shaking hands*
*fli-fli* *FLICK*
A-Alexa, this is it. My last hope.
Add the pallet of rice and beans to the online cart, but don't hit send yet.
Transfer my August rent money to my account, max my margin and pull up AAPL and AMZN.
Five tick candles, zoom in so only 5 candles are showing.
l-let's gooo-

*FLICK*
Alexa, here we go, the big one.
Let's go with 10 tick charts on MSFT and GOOG , max margin, no stop loss, double my puts. Hold my calls, the telephone ones.

*FLICK*
That's right Alexa, T S L A.
Now set the chart to 1 minute, heiken-ashi, zoom in, max my margin, send it to the projection screen and get mumu on a video chat.

*FLICK*
Ah, the start of consumer earnings.
ALEXA, pull up NFLX, 1 min candles, zoom in, max my margin and use my cubs college fund account.

Listen here bucko you have two options.
1. You capitulate now.
2. You capitulate later.
I win either way, but for you this can mean locking in SOME money or losing it all, so choose wisely.

You know what mumus? I don't even care. I WILL hold SQQQ forever. It could go down to 0. I. Will. Not. Sell. Until. The. Short. Squeeze. That's it. That's all. Think you can outlast me? Think again. Not only will I hold, but I will buy even more. Summer rally? Great. I'll just keep buying. I'll throw my entire paycheck (over $1000 biweekly) into it. I may shit my pants daily for 2 months straight, but when the crash finally comes, the smell will be nothing compared to the fecal deluge that you will unleash. So get ready. And don't. underestimate. me. You have been warned.

P.S.: don't look at the tiger futures.

Been selling positions for 3 weeks. Sitting 90% cash and comfy.