/biz/ - Business & Finance

it'd be cool if sergey went up on stage to an utterly silent crowd and tried to speak but all that came out is a shrill piercing tone that made all the glass in the room vibrate and explode, showering the audience. then when everyone is screaming all covered in cuts and blood he crouches down into the third world squat, and in a dark voice he says "stinky linky poops like pajeet", and proceeds to strain so hard that he bursts all the blood vessels in his eyes and the shit rips thru his beige slacks, slamming into the stage and bounces like a dead cat. because it is. he tuts and says "bad kitty" then rabidly claws through the carcass and digs out something and thrusts it above his head for all to see and it is an immaculate 6" chainlink cube.

the crowd gasps and with a wild grin the red eyed sergey starts to rotate it in his hand and says "meet my friends!". as it spins the cubes sides change to all the different logos of all the different companies chainlink is partnered to. Was that a nike logo? yes it was. adobe? yes. tesla? yes. swift? yes. the bloodied crowd stands and applauds and he spins the cube ever faster. every company you have ever heard of flashes by. general motors? yes. facebook? yes ben and jerry's? yes, fucking sara lee? yes. "we are ALL going to make it!" sergey screams. "ALL OF US!" and the price goes to $1,000,000, sergey is raptured up to alpha centuri, and i'm telling this story to my great great great great grandchild because i am so wealthy i become an immortal cybernigger.

it'd be cool if sergey went up on stage to an utterly silent crowd and tried to speak but all that came out is a shrill piercing tone that made all the glass in the room vibrate and explode, showering the audience. then when everyone is screaming all covered in cuts and blood he crouches down into the third world squat, and in a dark voice he says "stinky linky poops like pajeet", and proceeds to strain so hard that he bursts all the blood vessels in his eyes and the shit rips thru his beige slacks, slamming into the stage and bounces like a dead cat. because it is. he tuts and says "bad kitty" then rabidly claws through the carcass and digs out something and thrusts it above his head for all to see and it is an immaculate 6" chainlink cube.

the crowd gasps and with a wild grin the red eyed sergey starts to rotate it in his hand and says "meet my friends!". as it spins the cubes sides change to all the different logos of all the different companies chainlink is partnered to. Was that a nike logo? yes it was. adobe? yes. tesla? yes. swift? yes. the bloodied crowd stands and applauds and he spins the cube ever faster. every company you have ever heard of flashes by. general motors? yes. facebook? yes ben and jerry's? yes, fucking sara lee? yes. "we are ALL going to make it!" sergey screams. "ALL OF US!" and the price goes to $1,000,000, sergey is raptured up to alpha centuri, and i'm telling this story to my great great great great grandchild because i am so wealthy i become an immortal cybernigger.