/biz/ - Business & Finance

Hey non believers,

My name is Jesus (Historically it's Joshua, but jesus is fine too.) and I hate or love you depending on who's telling it, but that's cool. Some of you are slightly over weight, less than productive members of society, but I don't mind. A lot of you are technically everything that's bad in the world, but it's never too late to change your path, so it's no big deal. Have any of you ever lied with woman in the biblical sense? I'd add "Honestly" but I already know that answer. Anyway, It's fine if you have, there's nothing becoming one with another person, even if it's someone of the same sex, (I don't actually mind) but it's actually better if you haven't. I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, (to some people) but you all take to a whole new level, but hey, we've all been cruel. This is even technically worse than letting your seed fall on barren ground over facebook pictures, but who really cares?

Don't be a stranger, I genuinely want to know each and every one of you. There's room in the herd for all, but if you prefer to be solitary that's perfectly acceptable too. Go ahead and hit me with your best shot, for I love a lively debate. I'm pretty much the son of god, but that doesn't mean we weren't created equal. I was apprentice carpenter, then I wandered around Judea for a while. What pilgrimages have you been on? I genuinely want to know. I also got crucified, but contrary to popular belief, I didn't want it to happen. It was a bit of a bummer, but hey, "misfortune comes always out of season." I also sit at the right hand of god ( His glory permeates my life, poop was SO holy) You should all just kill yourselves so I can meet you now! I'm so excited!

Pic related, it's me alone, seeing as I don't feel the need to subjugate a woman.