/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>24066382
"But Sergey, we are going to go to the restau-"

"Nonsense. I eat at all times and do what I want, hey, blow."

An employee scurries over the Sergey and his Father with a mirror loaded with glistening white lines and two shot glasses.

"Ah, classic Russian snack. Don't mind if I do" he says as he picks up a small cut straw. A loud and an almost snorting sound comes from Sergey's Father as he tilts his head back and comically begins to swallow. "Good shit. Nostrovia!"

"Nostrovia." They gulp down the shots and smash them on the ground. "Pick it up wagie! Anyway, let me give you a tour." They proceed to walk around the cramped offices.

"So when are you going to pull the plug?"

"Well the money machine just keeps going. To be honest, I don't even know what the fuck oracles are."

"Here's what I don't understand. If it's a good making machine, there's sure to be Jews and Russians and sometimes both in the mix."

"Oh they are. Chinks too. There's this twinked out meth-head named Vitalik. He blew me off because he saw through me and he refused bribes because he has his own scam going."

"The guy you're developing for?"

"Well... it's complicated. I promised investors, hahaha, I love saying that word. Investors... anyways, I promsied them something something, derivatives, basically data would go through us for a stock exchange."

"Why?"

"Because, they're stupid. Just connect big words together. Blockchain agnostic. Smart contract oracles. Decentralized node protocols. And bam you have money!"

"Huh, let me try... mhmm... Real time node operators..."

"Hahaha, you got it Pops! It's easy."

>>23021937
They turn a sharp corner and Sergey angrily slaps the back of the head of one of his employees. "God damn it Rory."

"What, what did I do" he stammers out.

"Nothing. Fuck you, that's what." Both Sergey and his Father burst into laughter as they turn another corner, "This is my office, just a black telephone and a oneahole to blow off steam and... of course" He opens up a closet and there in pristine condition are thirty different shirts, all of the same type.

"The classic Steve Jobs. Son, I am impressed. You've learned big business so well, I only wish your Grandfather was here to see you. He would be so proud how you've milked these internet losers for money."

"NEETs, Dad, they're called NEETs. And I couldn't have done it without your backing."

"Ah, I see your philosophy degree is hung up here."

"Yeah, they made fun of me for it, but I can't help but think it helps me out-think the Fudders. Every time they almost catch us and every time we cover it up."

"And your exit plan."

"Russia of course. They won't extradite."

"Well, you've raised so much damn money... is there a chance to actuallly of pulling it off?"

"Not a chance. There is zero need for a token, you know I thought about it for a while but most of these protocols could be funded just as progress goes along. I picked something intentionally easy to obsfucate but also very easy to develop, but just added a layer of decentralization to make it extra hard."

"Why? Why not just deliver oracles?"

"Because they're fucking useless Dad. Like tarot cards or any other indicator, you just need an API to connect. All we're doing is technically setting up a layer for people to create their own APIs to act as a node to deliver data."

"Ahh, yes data... yes certainly Data is a great scam, but it's old no?"

"Of course, "big data, data is the new oil, yada, yada", but just throw a token on there and the word decentralization and bam! You have big money."

>He walks into your room, belt buckle undone with mcdonalds grease glistening his hairy chest
>>He loosely flings off his daily steve jobs plaid shirt
>You brace yourself uncomfortable, the binds keeping you shackled spread eagled on the floor

"yes master, nulinkers deserve death. they are just trying to buy this synth-russian vaporware dogshit token on the low by fudding a chinese CCP fly-fishing counter protestor forum. not like your browse it master or have any fucking semblance of a fatass walrus scammer mindset."

He smiles.

He slowly walks over to you.

"And what do you say to the deceivers?"

"You'll never buy sub one dollar again! Nice try, didn't read, not selling! been holding for 700+ days. imma just keep buying like the dumb dipshit pig i am. it'll eventually work out no matter what because im too stupid to understand economics and i compare this opportunity to ethereum cuz im a fat, fucking retarded pig that loves to pay for your expenses and vacations"

He assumes the position now, a chair on top of your bare naked chest. He grunts and let out a massive fart.

"That's right... I've been holding it for 700,000 blocks, it's nice and hot and stinky..." He trails off, a distant look in his eyes as he glances and looks at all the chainlink posters in the room.

He grunts and out comes, a fat nasty shit on your chest.

"Another 700k, dumped. Take it in your GPI."

"Thank you master, partnership confirmed. To the moon!"

We must protect Serger at all costs anons. Ari Juels has his own Loli assassins. For Serger!

32 million solves my oracle problem you fucking nerds

>>16032832
link nao

>no source whatsoever
>viability study, could be done and submitted by anyone
jesus fucking christ, sergey shills are really desperate to find volume to dump their bags on.

>>15615223
soon to be sub $1

>>15612470
scammer

>>15614904
scammer

>>15614893
scammer

>>15606784
scammer

>>15614161
DR;NB scammer

>>15614688
scammer

>>15614368
scammer