/biz/ - Business & Finance

[blog]
Mods if you need to ban me for off topic, just ban me from /biz/ please and leave me the rest of 4chins.

I just don't know anymore, bros. I'm 45, I have a bunch of health issues, and my career, such as it is, is in the toilet. I'm on my third career and I've accomplished nothing of note, personally and professionally, and I just don't fucking know anymore.

I had so much hope when I was younger, even a decade ago I had something approximating hope. Now I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I spend all my waking hours lost in my own head, thinking about stories I haven't written, opportunities squandered, and living an ephemeral life away from my day to day. I nap because at least when I dream its more pleasant, but I can only nap so much.

It just seems like the entirety of my life has been a waste, a series of missteps from which I cannot recover.

I am not tired of life, but I am tired of my life and I do not think my life is worth enough to exchange for or build toward something better.

Thank you; I'm sorry.
[/blog]