/biz/ - Business & Finance

Get a Resume from a kid with a Liberal Arts degree (including Physics and Math)
>mfw he didn't go to Harvard, Yale or Princeton
>into the trash you go
Get a resume from a kid with an Engineering degree.
>mfw he didn't go to Stanford, MIT, or UCal-Berkeley
>into the trash you go
Get a resume from a kid with a Business degree
>mfw he didn't go to UPenn, UChicago, or Northwestern
>into the trash you go

Considering it's a commerce board and I'm not the only one out there who has to hire people (or at least interview applicants for my department), I thought we should share some stories on just how autistic some of these candidates are.

>Department head for finance department at KPMG
>Graduate season rolls through, HR gets inundated with applications, they send a few of the short lists to myself for a personal interview
>Every year I find that all the applicants I give the stamp of approval on will always admit later they bull shitted on 90% of their resume skills/experience
>Before this intake period this year, I asked HR to request their LinkedIn so I can be a cunt and try to catch them out on their resume lies, whoever gives the best excuse to get out of their lies gets the job, because hey, they are going to lie anyway
>Every applicant is 21-24 years old, they all list hundreds of skills on their LinkedIn, none of which are confirmed by any of their LinkedIn contacts

>As I go through the bullshit fest I notice one of the applicants listed on his resume that he was a junior executive for BP, this guy is like 22 years old
>As the interview process begins and I'm going through the applicants, I see the executive guy on the list is coming in today for his interview
>Sit down with him and as the interview goes on I tell him I know the senior exec at BP named Bob (complete lie) and tell him that I remember Bob mentored this guy
>The guy squirms in his chair and just replies "h...he's good, y..yeah, he was a good mentor"
>Tell him that I was sad to hear Bob being fired for fraudulent conduct and tell the guy that we probably can't hire him because of this
>The guy stares at me, you can tell that he wants to tell me he was bullshitting but he's already too far gone for that
>He tells me that he was in a car accident a few weeks ago and had select amnesia now so forgot everything Bob told him, so he won't be a liability to the company
>Hire him on the spot

What are some things that are guaranteed to get your resume trashed?

>debit cards

>Interest free credit

>>139397
>QuickBooks
>Thinking you know anything about accounting

Fucking top lel mate. Wait until you've been in the field for 10 years and have worked with every ERP under the sun.

>I'm a student who has brought coffee to an entry level finance accountant!
>I know exactly what I'm talking about!

>>118721
I have no problem identifying people who came from outside to try shiling their shit and people who satirize them. There have been one or two cases that made me raise an eyebrow much in the same way as some well written email spam. But in the end it's always clear from the attachment.zip that you can disregard it.

>>9691
I don't know man, there seems to be a lot of demand