Sergey is going to lumber his 300 lb ass up the steps, walk on stage and release a massive fart. His shirt stained with big mac sauce, the audience notices a few french fries sticking out of his breast pocket. The talk will begin with the merits on distributed networks to acquire fast food calories from establishments across the world. Sergey will unveil the LINK platform: a mesh of oracles designed to find the most efficient way to price and purchase super sized meals. His bodily mass will continue to grow, pound by pound, minute by minute as he continues discussing. By the end of his presentation he has engulfed the entire room with his gargantuan frame. Coindesk and Block reporters will be scrambling to escape from the putrid folds of fat to no avail. Consensus closes early this year.