/biz/ - Business & Finance

I'm gonna become a god with this project. 5 years from now I'm gonna freeze time, and I'm gonna teleport in front of everyone on /biz/ who didn't buy everest, and I'm gonna unfreeze them, and I'll ask them "why didn't you buy everest". And then I'll delete their mouth before they answer like Neo in the matrix. And then, I'll bring your parents in front of you, and I'm gonna thanos snap them with a sly smile. "You deserved this. If only you had listened". Then I'll force them to suck my dick, and if they do a good job, I'm gonna hand them 0.001 ID (enough to live a luxurious life), but I'm gonna tear all their limbs off, and put them in a pod, and send them to the jungle to fend for themselves in a hunger-games like battle royale, except its all limbless people who just crawl around on the ground and get eaten by tigers and such. I'll also give myself an avatar that looks like a hyperborean alien, and I'll fly around like Levi from Attack on Titan, and assassinate random people. And I'll turn myself into a sissy manlet, and try to attack random brutish-looking fellows, and when they fight back, I'll just blow up their heads, so that their brains cover every surrounding object. Then I'll say "I did this because you are stupid and I'm better than you, you maggot, you should've bought everest, pic related, is me atm". Other times I'll give myself a 15 meter long dick and use it to destroy skyscrapers and stuff. Other times, I'll just randomly make someone smart lose 50 IQ points, or someone attractive suddenly have a really asymmetric face. When I'm done having fun with all the non-everestians who are imprisoned on earth, I'm gonna fly out into space and just explode the planet, and everyone dies, humanity is forgotten, except everest holders who ascended out of this plane of existence into a higher realm of infinite freedom joy and meaning.