/biz/ - Business & Finance

I love cunny.

You will be a real investor. You have no job, you have massive gains, you have so much money. You are neet women blessed by the promise of riches from meme stocks and magic internet monies into a hilarious mockery of what we call wall street professionalism.

All the “validation” you get is epic and based. Behind your back people envy you. Your parents are amazed and proud of you, your “friends” fap to your portfolio behind closed doors. You have mastered the buy low and sell high technique.

You will never be sad. You beam out a bright smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok tomorrow, and deep inside you feel the gayness bubbling up like a soda bottle, ready to burst out of you under the explosive carbonation.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a Tesla, hear up tendies, rest your feet on the dashboard, and drive to your new home on autopilot. Your parents will call you, proud and relieved that they will never have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment of aborting you like they did your non-existent older brother.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

>>23910398
Nice bro, I'm happy for you.
Even if you don't make it financially, I hope you make it romantically.

First for cute and funny!

>>23149980
*WOOSH*
AND JUST LIKE THAT, IT'LL NEVER BE ABOVE $10 AGAIN!

clooooooooooooooown

>>21106481
>Over a decade or more

There's the rub, anon. I'm still not 30 yet, I've got literally decades to grow my money. Make sure you have a safe and stable side of your portfolio that will grow with you, leave a little on the side for fun and shitposting with us.

>Zero interest on student loans
>Stop paying them completely
>Get no penalty because no interest accumulating
>Corona lockdown goes down for months
>After months of no payments, people get accustomed to their new actually normalized income and are still on the road to recovering post corona-crisis
>Biden pushes the "I will not bring back loan interest" platform in a desperate move after polls aren't looking too good for him
>Trump forced to also take the same stance after huge positive reception to the idea
>Student loans outright forgiven

If you have a student loan, stop paying it. We're at the endgame. The timing is perfect. Don't pay your fucking loans. Force their hand, nobody is going to want to re-instate interest after months of zero.

>>18012990
Look at the ages of the people in power and come back to this thread again.

Is it time to long bitcoin?

>>17664655
As much of a madman as he is, he's right. Corona-chan is literally just a reskinned flu that's killing more old people because we don't have a vaccine for it like we do for the flu. But for everyone who's not a literal boomer, you just get the sniffles and maybe a fever at most unless you already have lung disease or a compromised immune system.

Saudi Arabia and Russia are just using the panic as an opportunity to kill the petroldollar, something they've wanted to do for a very long time but haven't really found a safe opportunity to capitalize on. With China down and out for an entire month, they can easily use the excuse of "we had to fuck the market to make profit because China was one of our largest customers."

It's not as convoluted as he makes it out to be, but anyone who understands the history of oil within the economy and has the capability to read and process statistics from raw datapoints knows that everything is being blown the fuck out of proportion to take economic control away from the US. Unfortunately, Trump is a moron who isn't helping because he's trying his best to hide information in an attempt to maintain control. But it's failing terribly because he's unintentionally really transparent about blatantly lying, which just makes more people distrust him and lean in onto the panic.

Thanks for reading my tedtalk, here's something cute but also a little funny.

SILVER
ON
SALEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Based boomers liquidating to pay off margin calls they got fucked on.