/biz/ - Business & Finance

>be me
>read about how trannies are so cool and butt orgasms are so great
>decide that I'm missing out on something
>go to porn store and buy dildo
>put on the movie, "A diary of Bridget Jones"
>lube up the dildo
>ease it into the ol' turdcutter
>immediately feel flushed and ashamed
>stomach hurts like I was kicked in the balls
>nothing I do in my butt can fix this
>abort mission after 60 secs
>pull out dildo with poop on it

How you sleep at night?