/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>1281707
Fuck you, shitbird. All that tribal tattoo ink get in your blood stream and forget the manners your momma taught you after she concieved you in the back seat of a Volvo in a Chuck E Cheese parking lot one night. In my day we didn't beat off to gay furry unicorn porn of a fucking girl's feet like 90% of the faggots on this Chinese image board to 5 times a day in their basement between piles of Mac and cheese tubs. All that goddamn Axe you puppies slosh on makes a woman think you're going to an Iranian wedding with skinny jean tuxes and a fedora to impress the tied goat you'll visit with enough alcohol "liquid courage".
In my day we didn't send a fucking picture of our dick to a girl with a phone. We fucking showed it to her in person in a closet at a house party like a real man with manners! You pecker pummelers need to get some respect.

>>1266132
>What are you good at?
>nothing im garbage

Can you show up on time? Do you smell nice? Do you want to help people or solve problems?

Just because you think you're a shitbird doesn't mean you are. You'll probably make some employer a lot of money when they TRAIN you.

90% of success is just showing up.

>>1116488
I can't respect you "fixers" because none of you have a fucking job worth posting about. Boomers made America great, allowed for your technical efforts and financed your fucking basement dwelling masturbatory time wasting toys. You dress retarded, you can't talk; you text and after that you still have time to put tire carcasses in your earlobes and shave the sides of your tattooed heads to look like gay vikings.

You little shitbirds with your fucking man-bobs and your goddam tribal tattoos and your fucking beercans in your earlobes need to listen up. Stop having your genitalia pierced for a minute and knock off sending nude snapchats to other fuckheads sporting duckfaces too.

I'm going to predict your fucking future:

1. You're young and invincible. No one gives a shit if you're living in your parents basement jacking it to brony porn or if you're a fucking hedge fund trader who doesn't know the difference between discount and mark-up.
Apply yourself and you'll make some money in life.

2. You will make money until you are about 50-ish and then some dick who was conceived in the dumpster behind some Nobu somewhere -- and is now managing your work -- will decide that the company is "going a different direction" and your high priced services won't be needed. Here's 2 weeks pay. At that time you are fucked.

As you grow older, your business contacts slowly leave the playing field and you become dependent on referrals from people the age of your children. You won't find a job. It's over.

But.......when you were working you lived on 50% of your income, partied with the 20% and BANKED 30%. You will have done this for 20 plus years and you had the dividends re-invested. When the shit breather lays you off on that fateful day, you notify the online broker to start sending you the monthly/quarterly dividends. You'll have that, your IRA, your investment properties and you can sit back and still try to get a job but don't count on it.

TL;DR? Put 30% of your take home into various investments for 20 or 30 years and you'll never have to worry about being 52 and having to be interviewed by a 28 year old who has never seen the movie "Bullitt" or knows that Paul McCartney was in another band before Wings.

>>920922
>for too long futures trading has been dominated by "old white men" who don't "get" the internet.
Listen up, junior jugg jacker: "old white men" don't dominate the fucking futures markets. Old Arabs, old Indians (dot, not feather), Hispanic bastards, Africans, etc, have been dealing in your commodity markets since men have been jerking their skeeter to cave drawings and obese fertility images. You little shit birds with your fucking red string wrist bracelets, and your fucking man bobs and rat tails and your fucking fedoras that hide them and the fucking taper fade fauxhawk under it and the fucking bearded effort you young pricks grow out just makes you look like an asshole with teeth while ordering your goddam half caf double machiato with extra vanilla while a REAL TRADER has to wait in line to get a simple fucking cup of coffee as a result of your two minute order to a sympathetic Starbucks employee who is pissed that they have to hire old people like in their 40s. You take that dumbass comment an shove it up your ass, that is if there's any room up their with the vibrating buttplug with the Glencore logo on it taking up so much space because your skinny jeans don't flex to the south.

>>889701
>Any inspirational stories about people who started late in their education
>>889701
>I'm 25 starting college for the first time and I'm scared :

mfw 25 year olds are worrying about "starting college" late at fucking 25 years old. God damnit, have you started to shave yet? I'm not talking about your tiny dick and balls, I'm talking about your face! Jesus Christ....25 years old.....It's not like you're starting fucking high school at 18, dumbass. It's college!! It's elective!! The law says you have to be fucking educated through highschool but the law doesn't say when you have to go to college! If you'd take the fucking "Livestrong" cockring off your dick you'd get more blood to your taper-fade haircutted head and you'd think clearer despite the fucking 3 inch gauges that have turnedyour earlobes into larger danglers than your tiny shaved nuts!

Goddamit you little shitbird, get your ass to college and don't ever bring this subject up again.

>>870817
>With social system in my country i couldn't afford even rent of one room in cheapest place in my city, not to mention food and bills.

Goddamit! Listen up, you pussy furner: Are you a man or a sniveling panty sniffing "victim"?? I'm going to tell you what to do and you're going to FUCKING DO IT!! Your going to step away from the computer and you're going to shower for the first time in a week and you're going to eat something and get some fucking tea or coffee in your system and then you're going to get a pencil and paper and you will write out your fucking plan to come to America! You find out how much it costs to get here the cheapest way possible outside of stowing away in the nose gear compartment of a FUCKING JET and then you figger out if you know anyone here now. If you don't know anyone here, HOW BAD DO YOU WANT TO SUCCEED??? When you get here will you sleep on the street for the chance to make it? Will you wash dishes, do menial tasks like trading natural gas?? Will you live in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER and take showers and couch surf? Will you discover some way to make your poor slav ass better off an show it to your friends in low places? Then will someone say, "Hey, poor slav fag, I'll buy 100 of those things ..." and then you work your ass off and one day a rich investment banker walks by and smells you, looks your way and talks to you about that thing you make and he/she finances it for you and suddenly you are fucking rich and boning supermodels despite the fact they are secretly disgusted by your hairyness and penchant for partying with your poorfag posse
from the streets and then you are living the American dream!! So, the first step to take is now asshole. Get here before some other hard working, partially toothed hairy fucking slavfag takes your fucking dream that awaits you here.
I'm

>>853521
>If you work for yourself, and you create your own market, service, product, etc, and handle all aspects, you've received no help from anyone and owe nothing.
Listen up, "island man": You got a public education that was paid for by us. You didn't educate yourself. You benefitted from modern medicine so you could live to wear skinny jeans and a fedora and beat off to laptop images of people with furry tail buttplugs. despite being an overwhelming dumbass you rode bicycles built by companies who had the benefit of public roads and a semblance of security teams in government policing and armies who kept you safe while you slept sucking your thumb and from time to time wetting the bed. You might have gone to a college that was receiving federal grants so that you could be come educated to some pitiful degree. You couldn't have done it without the help of government via taxes. Then you open a peep show in your home town. You sell tickets, hire the girls and boys, and you're the jizz mopper at closing time. You say you get no help from anyone but you like that bank safety and you like the police who show up when some homo wants to rob you and you enjoy medical advancements funded by govt that treat your genital warts. But oh no, you created your own market and handle all aspects and in your self medicated state you really believe that all your peep show success is just attributable to you.

Wake up! Stop smelling the undergarments of your pregnant dancers, shave your balls and man up to the fact that you received help from the government indirectly, asshole.

>>851440
Listen up, pud pullers: Here's how your successful grandfathers and fathers found jobs:

1. get up early; go to school; get fucking educated.
2. Go to college or trade school, get skills, seek job.
3. Get up, didn't spend 90 minutes on phone fucking with facebook, porn or selfies, looked for job.
4. Didn't poke a hole in earlobes, stick a yoyo in it and get tattooed all over, looked for job.
5. Didn't sit in fucking parents' basements masturbating to furry porn on internet; took bath and looked for job.
6. Didn't spend 7 hours a day looking down at smart phone "checking shit, chillin and looking at the dicks of traps on 4chan. Looked for job.
7. Didn't fill out job forms online between masturbating to Brazzers; contacted executives at prosperous companies until got hired.
8. Didn't spend 3 hours in the am perfecting taper fade manbob with rat tail and designer stubble. Fucking got up, shit, showered and shave and wen't looking for a fucking job.
9. Didn't get $100,000 in "loans" to go to Acme University to become a fucking sous chef. Worked fucking way through college and earned degree without getting a debt suppository to live with for decades.

>>851383
>honestly fuck baby boomers and gen x, literally worse than cancer.
You don't know shit, junior. Nurses are hired right out of school. Does our widdle asshole have trouble finding a widdle job?? Boo fucking hoo. Boomers set the ground work for the fucking phone you have to be invented so that you can send a pic of your dick to the turd burglar next to you. While you have mastered the ability to beat off to images on a small electronic computer, you haven't mastered the fucking ability to make yourself worth it as an employee to some firm yet. God forbid you can't "chill" with your other pizza delivery fuckhead friends when industrious assholes are out making shit happen while you abuse your testicular outsourcing to furry porn cross pollinated with the 32,000 trap images you've downloaded from 4-chan. Those dayglo orange soccer shooes and your beloved manbob under a flat brimmed ballcap make you look "gangsta" to the other kids at the skate park but you're going to have to man up and get with it someday oh Ramen King.

>>849890
Fuck you, faggot. We gave you the best economy in the world and you little red wrist ban wearing fuckturds, with your dayglo tennis shoes and your phone creeping and your flat brimmed ballcaps have decimated all the opportu ity we gave to you basement dwelling NEETS. In my day we beat off with a Playboy , a Penthouse or a Hustler but today you little ratfuckers beat your meat to laptop brony porn with a little trap thumbdrive in your pocket for variety! You shitbirds can't write in cursive and your music is shit tier.. If you little dickweeds got paid for complaining you'd have Warren Buffett as your fucking butler.

>>819662
God dammit!! God damn you little fedora fuckers! I get sick of reading your whiny job shit all the time on /biz/. Let me set you young punk meat beaters straight...for a change...on some things about life:

1. Life is tough.
2. Life is tougher if you're stupid.

Take that fucking Chinese tattoo on your anterior side of your fucking upper left arm. Did you send in an application for a tattoo on the internet?? FUCK NO. You got drunk with your little goth girlfriend with the purple hair who shows her tits on Chaturbate when you're not around and together you went to a drugged up neckbeard dressed all in black, smoking a camel who "tatted" your arm an called you bro the whole time while purple tits held your little red threaded wrist and told you it's like anal for the first time and it's OK to be nervous but don't confused the hand sanitizer for lube like you did last time! And you wept a little but you went TO THE MAN IN CHARGE and got a tattoo didn't you??

And what about those dayglo orange soccer shoes on your little hairy white feet? Did you send in an application for those fucking shoes? No. You went right to where they were with your friend Roland and you giggled like a girl getting eaten out like a piece of boarding house pie as the shoes were put on your hairy little feet with the start tattoo under your ankle. And remember the skinny girl who works for the supermarket that you bumped uglies with during the kiln festival? You didn't apply to have some advanced rogering with her! No, you went up to her after 6 pints and said "I'd like to break you open like a 9 dollar shotgun and drive you to Denver!" And she said, Um, like, OK and all...." and you took her to your rented room or dorm room and you put a tie on the door so everyone would know you were in there "vigorously discussing Uganda" with her.

My point is, numb nuts, that never apply online for a job. Contact the CEO by letter and you'll be better off.

>>807875
>am I really supposed to be saving this much?
Listen up, pecker puller: You want to know why your sorry man-bobbed ass should be saving this much? Let an experienced sumbitch tell your tattoo-ed ass why. The reason is because when you're my age sometime in the future, if you don't die of tattoo ink poisoning or skinny jeans cutting off the blood supply to your brain via your crotch, some fucking asshole who will be conceived in the back seat of some red thread wristband, dope smoking Uber driver's Prius in about 15 years, will walk in one day and say to you, "Hey anon, don't you think wearing dayglo soccer shoes to work with a fucking flat-brimmed ball cap is a little old fashioned?". Soon your old ass will be excluded from company get togethers where the youngsters who will be working with your old ass will be giggling about you humming Bruno Mars and Justin Bieber tunes all day. Plus, they will ask you about the old days when you couldn't go topless in the office and when did nipple clamps go out of style? Then you'll have some dickhead pack all the selfies in your office onto a thumb drive and you'll trudge out the office "portal" to a self driven Nissan and you'll program it to take you to the Sphincter Bar but it ill ignore you and drive you to the drone port and you'll be whisked home and literally dropped off. As you go into your container home you'll audibly sigh and wish,"Why didn't I listen to 4Chan and save my fucking money when they told me to?" you'll wish you had the Bitdogecoins you should have been saving but, no, you wanted to put your heat seeking moisture missile in some hot piece of ass at the firm and wasted all your cash in the pursuit of image. Like Warn Buffay aid back in the day, "You don't know who's shitting in the pond until the rice farmers drain it for irrigation."

>>791941
My biggest weakness? Well, numb nuts, my biggest weakness, besides wanting to fart your company's jingles on the TV, is the fact that I get a little loud when fucking shitheads like you, wearing your fucking SS haircuts and your skinny jeans and your fucking ear gauges the size of thread spools and your little red thread wrist bracelets want to ask me, an experienced fucker, what my weaknesses might be. Well, my weaknesses include big titted women with bouffant hairdos, baby doll negligees, Candy Samples and Virginia Bell, a nice bush, not some shaved pedo shit all you laptop masturbating , dirty messaging fucksticks like to drool over, and the old Playboy and none of the Hustler and Penthouse shit. Sans-a-belt pants, and airline pilots shirts with a gold Presidential Rolex might weaken me a bit but the fact that you little taper faded faux-hawk wearing dickheads don't know about the movie Bullett weakens me in the knees a bit while you are sucking on a rubber tube at an oxygen bar and planning on taking a vegan shit the first chance you get. Next question.

>>788552
Take the magnifying glass away from your pecker for a minute shitbird and listen up:

You aren't speaking german because of some "old man". You don't have to pull your skinny jeans down around your ankles to masturbate to a Playboy or Penthouse or Hustler; you can do it with a laptop because of some "old man". You think that fucking fedora on your head is modern? No. Google a deceased old man named Frank Sinatra, a man who got more female butt than a sorority shitter, not some red thread wristband wearing fuckbird like yourself, throwing up in the back of an Uber service while your recently picked up Filipino "girlfriend" is taking a pic of her dick to send to you by phone even though you're sitting right next to "her". You tattoo those Chinese symbols an inch above your fucking little white ankle supporting the dayglo green soccer shoes you wear to match with your fucking SS haircut, the last German who would have gassed you and your family was probably killed by the "deluded old man" who cared enough for you to have all the dumbass fashion and technology you use today to hack into the Chippendale dancers locker rooms across America. Fling your gay shit in some other monkey cage, Jethro, because old men paid the price for you to do so in far off places where women are generally ugly and shit by the side of the road.

>>780436
>FUCK THE BOOMERS.
Hey, pube shaver: I guess your little red thread wristband is cutting off the blood to your brain or maybe the beer can size earlobe gauges you spent your lawn mowing money on haven't adjusted yet and the pain is intense and keeping you distracted so that you can't think property. Well, listen up, dick beater. You say "fuck the boomer"? How about understanding that the fucking oriental tattoos you elected to besmirch your body with came from the ability to freely do that as opposed to having North Korean or Vietnamese symbols tattooed on your small dick by force if it wasn't for the boomers you are flinging your dumbass shit at in this thread! You fucking fedora wearing laptop masturbators have had furry tails up your ass so long your brains are starting to shrink to the size of a squirrel's testicles. You nut oilers send pics of your dicks by a fucking phone and can't hold a fucking conversation unless you're typing it on a phone to the homosex standing next to you! You fucking taper-faded, fauxhawk wearing shitbirds are ripe for spiff fucking because you think that the freedoms you experience today just fucking happen and all that "history shit" you didn't study in school doesn't mean anything to you little dickheads who don't even know how to write in cursive for God's sake. Post this on your wall at home in your basement so your mom will know that someone will say what needs to be said to you.

>>765911
>Yeah, as long as you're willing to work like 4x as hard as people half your age. Most employers probably aren't going to deal with an older guy just getting his start when a younger guy with the same amount of experience will likely have way more energy, have less going on in his life (so he's willing to put more work in), and generally have more good years that he's capable of working.

Listen up, pecker pilgrim: Young guys are shitty employees, ruining the firm's reputation with your little black backpacks and your red thread bracelets and your fucking "livedumb" rubber wristbands and your fucking taperfade fauxhawks and your goddam skinny suits with waist jackets and your coming to work so fucking hungover you can't do shit except wait for the end of the day and staring at your fucking Chinese symbol tattoos and getting ink poisoning from your fucking tribal tattoos and counting the STDs you've had in the last month alone. Fucking juniors.

>>765921
>gtfo grandpa wtf

Hey, peanut: That's five decades of experience your throwing your shit at. You'd be speaking Vietnamese now if it wasn't for those fucking 50 year olds defending your fucking draft dodging ass and your fucking ear gauges and your motherfucking need to party all fucking night long while dragging your .24 BA ass into the office all hung over with a gold flaked tongue from all the Jag you consumed on the company expense account and staggering aroound outside the club in your fucking soccer team shirt shouting "fuck her right in the pussy" with your company logo on the shirt that the boss's wife will be watching on the news the next morning while you saunter home in your fucking giant foam cowboy hat and sticking your finger out your zipper which you think is a hilarious visual to every one who goes past and laughs at you.

>>760282
Listen up, dickbeater: If you'll take off your nipple clamps for a bit and quit moussing your taper-fade fauxhawk you might get a little more blood to your brain since your skinny jeans and fedora seem to be stopping the flow of it to your brain apparently. Goddamit in my day we didn't use a phone like you young shit-for-brains to send a picture of our dick to a woman. We fucking showed it to her in the backseat of a car at a drive in movie. And we didn't take naked "selfies" of ourselves while imitating a duckface! We got naked at the park with a hot chick and didn't care if the ducks walked around us while we were bumping uglies to the tunes of the Stones. We didn't use computers to beat off like you puppy pricks, we manned up with a Playboy or a Penthouse and probably beat off to your mother's images she didn't tell your fucking oil trader father about. We didn't shave our fucking nuts like you dickheads do and we sure as shit didn't need a computer dating service, we fucking went to bars and picked up women with our quick wit and snappy patter, not some fucking poorly spelled booty call on a smart phone messaging system. "u up? mfw horney. horney.jpeg." You young fuckers have ruined sex with your tattooed testicles and fucking chinese letters on every exposed part of your body and you come to work on weekends with goddam dayglo soccer shoes and socks that don't match on your little hairy white feet and talk shit about Basel II while carrying tranny porn on a thumb drive in your pocket. Why don't you drive your thumb up your ass and browse that file?

>>731451
Fuck you, shitbird. Back in my day we didn't beat off in front of a laptop with skinny jeans down around our ankles and a fedora on our fucking heads! We didn't use a camera phone to show our dicks and a duckface to a good looking gal! We showed it to them in a parked car at a drive in movie!! You little fucksticks have too much tattoo ink in your bloodstream to think clearly and that's why you all shave the sides of your heads trying to look like gay vikings. Fucking dickbeaters. Grow up.

>>730321
Listen up. young dumbass: Live on half your take home. Spend the other 20% on fun, food etc. Put the other 30% into high dividend investments like Prudhoe Bay Royalty Trust (they put your dividends in your account quarterly) and re-invest the dividends. Do that for 30 years. Then one day, when some shithead who was conceived in the back seat of a car in a parking lot of a tittie bar decides to lay you off because you're old , you click the little button to start send ing you the quarterly dividends and enjoy life everafter.