>>20123222
>you could spend your whole life and alot of time and money trying to help people and they just keep going back to unproductive self limiting and destructive habits
This is often true.
However, a few things--
- It's not ALWAYS true. Sometimes you can help others see the light, and be that positive force that helps them help themselves. Or just save their ass in their time of need.
- With a few exceptions, I give extra leeway to family. Especially someone's mother. Assuming she wasn't some junkie failure, she gave birth to him, fed him, clothed him, bathed him then taught him to do all those things for himself. Housing, school supplies, love and encouragement, comfort and advice... it's really amazing what a mother does for her children. Buying her some silver is nothing in comparison.
- Even if she wasn't that great of a mother, be an example for your own children. They learn how to treat people from how they see you treat people. When they see you taking good care of your parents, hopefully they will take good care of you if you ever need it.
- Sometimes it is difficult, sometimes the person is toxic. Then the trick is to find a balance, help them as much as you can while still being healthy, taking care of yourself.
- The exception would be if the person is SO toxic that you absolutely cannot help them without them dragging you down into negativity. In that extreme case, you might have to cut ties. Regrettable.
TL;DR
That's your Mom, she changed your diapers. Take care of her if you can.
Unless she's just too toxic. If so, do what you can for her, then cut ties and be healthy.