/biz/ - Business & Finance

This man just solved the economy and all future recessions with a money printer
Say something nice about him

>>19457121
He is dead and I am not. What does that tell you, bitch?

>>19346598
Positive interest rates, like Puts and Shorts, will be made illegal

Reminder to NEVER EVER sell. That is channeling the degenerate that is the bear

I am awoken
>*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*
>t. printer
And now
For unprecedented power
*A SECOND PRINTER*

>>19206309
Gold is now illegal

>>19170221
>short selling ban
Hmm, I have a new idea....

>>19018532
Shorting and puts will be illegal by July

I will see the economy turn to ashes around me before I let my market go down again. You belong to my real wife, TINA, bitch.
>bitcoin
International task force soon to cut down on this dark drug money currency. Exchanges and nodes will be raided.
>gold
I can feel another forced gold-to-dollar exchange soon like we did in the good ol' days.
You belong to me.

>>18984391
No

I am going to ban gold and bitcoin
Whatchu gonna do about that bitch?
All in on my market or lose

You think you could own other assets, did you?
I set fire to bonds. I crushed the real esate market. Gold is garbage. Bitcoin is digital gold and thus digital garbage.
The infinite QE train is here to stay and your cash will be trash.
I have won. Get in my market or go to the poorhouse

>>18734264
I will turn this country to ash before I let Boomer 401k's become insolvent.

>>18710008
I needed a reason to print all this money for (((them)))

>>18691174
>The real deals may be in the credit market
They were until a couple of weeks ago but Jerome went out of his way to trash the credit market as an alternative asset dump to stocks. Treasury bonds are as much of a dumpster fire as oil. Most of the lucrative bonds have been scooped up by ETFs and bought by Jerome.

>>18682749
>Consuming is what drives the economy
*lends money to consumers to spend at corporations he lent money to that they pay him back with*
Checkmate, "economics"

>>18567978
I told Trump to make this "deal". The absolute madlad!
I am inevitable. Stocks will be the only asset. And they will only go up

>>18472725

>>18446954
I am looking to purchase all students. And then utilities. And then real estate. Welcome to MY country bitch

>>18434609
>advocates for Fed to buy all utilities
Hmmm, let me write that one down

>>18418958
*the sound of dozens of money printers revving up their boot sequences*
You think this is a GAME?

March 27th, 2020 - 10:15am

JPow sat down at his desk and let out a long sigh as he looked at his MacBook. It had a big 'dollar-sign' sticker on the top that he got for 50 cents at the bowling alley. He opened the computer and used his pointer fingers to type in his password: "J-Money#1". He took a long sip of the warm milk in his coffee mug. "How much more should we print?!?" he yelled at the intern situated at a desk outside of his office.

"I don't know man, it's unlimited, just make up a number" the intern shouted back. JPow hated the intern's dismissive tone but the young man was 6'5'' and built like a NFL linebacker... his wife called the intern a "Chad", but JPow didn't know what that meant. He mumbled to himself, "I'm the money man. Nobody else." JPow opened up the Google sheets doc titled "$$$ Money for government $$$" and looked at the only cell on the sheet with anything in it. "100 trillion" it read. He stopped for a moment, smiling at his own brilliance, then deleted the word "trillion" and replaced it with "gazillion". JPow nodded and took another sip of the milk, satisfied with his work for the day.

"Good to go!" He yelled at the intern.