/biz/ - Business & Finance

how much does swiss citizenship cost bros

Old market:
>picks a fucking direction at open
>proceeds in that direction until 11:00
>oscillates sideways til EOD
>maybe does a 0.1% pump or dump at 3:50

Current year market:
>opens up or down 2%
>proceeds to scream in the exact opposite direction for 2 hours straight
>NASDACK outperforms Shit&Piss for half of it
>Shit&Piss outperforms NASDACK for the rest of it, except on odd-numbered Thursdays and on prime-numbered days of the year preceeding a waxing moon by no more than 4 days
>crab + or - 0.5% for an hour
>between 1:30-3:00 pm, embarks on a massive + or - 2% pump or dump on zero volume or news
>crabs on slightly elevated volume for the rest of the day
>closes at +0.000000000000000003%
>takes a massive piss or shit immediately after hours

The stock market wasn't this retarded when I first took an interest in it. It's like a hot girl you marry and then she becomes a bloated sharting landwhale. I want my old career back.

Fun fact: The NASDAQ has flipped from positive to negative, or vice versa, TWENTY THREE times today!

Another fun fact: This market is pure, unadulterated, stage 9000 cancer and every single person participating in it should fucking kill themselves!

Bros...... AKAM......