/biz/ - Business & Finance

Share the biggest financial mistakes you've made during the Corona Crisis (so far). I'll start:

>realize back in early February that Corona-chan will absolutely rush over the globe now that the revised R0 data is confirmed
>want to profit
>too lazy to buy large quantities of masks, also slightly paranoid they might get confiscated
>know nothing about stocks, I just come to /biz/ for the memes, don't know how to "short", the brokerage that is attached to my regular bank account can only buy/sell stocks anyways due to the "low risk pledge" I selected when I opened the bank account (don't ask, it's some weird government regulation)
>not sure if crypto will go up or down ("store of value thesis" was still considered a possibility at that time)
>ponder buying gold but don't commit
>the only thing I'm absolutely certain of at this point is that 100.000s of people will die from the Corona virus
>What stock can I buy that is guaranteed to go up when much more people die than usual?
>sudden spark of genius
>type "public company funeral" into google
>Google results shows Park Lawn Corporation
>perfect!
>buy 18.000€ worth of their stock at 23$ price (this is half of my net worth)
>now I just have to wait in my bunker (have prepped pretty decently, can survive until August with 0 human contact) and watch the price go up
>shit finally hits the fan in March
>go to my account to watch my gains, didn't even have to short hehehe
>Park Lawn Corp (PRRWF) somehow down 50%
>AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>apparently in the bizarro world of the stock market a company that runs cemeteries and crematoriums LOSES value when more people die
>If I had bought 18.000€ of Boeing on that same day I'd be down less

Just coof the virus directly into my throat please, I give up.