/biz/ - Business & Finance

never looked into this guy

It's pretty simple really...
>*hits pipe*
Several billion-dollar conspirators are openly operating a huge scam by over-shorting Gamestop (GME), with all regulators and government officials complicit in the fraud, all at the expense of noble 4chan & reddit NEETs. All financial reporting websites and metrics are wrong; the "bad guys" are somehow able to keep all these mega-shorts off their books with tricky accounting, but our esteemed reddit DD'ers have assured us - they still haven't covered!
>*hits pipe*
The entire stock market crash is because of GME. See, the hedge funds and investment banks need to continue selling assets in order to keep their over-exposed GME shorts from liquidating. The genius that is Ryan Cohen started a 'ticking clock' by announcing a stock-split dividend that *may* come into effect after June 2nd. Never mind how that would cause a short-squeeze... it just could, okay!?
>*hits pipe*
Once the market is in shambles, the whole financial system brought to its knees, the true MOASS will begin... the government, Federal Reserve and banking institutions will be powerless as the GME price starts to climb... 4-figures, 5-figures, 6-figures... they won't engage in any shenanigans, nor will they change rules, institute emergency measures, etc., because that would just be unfair! The entire system will have to implode and 4channers/redditors will be the only ones left standing, with riches beyond your wildest dreams.
>*hits pipe*
So, what do you say fellow 4channer... are you slurping the GME dip?