/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>230367

>Hi, Anon, great to meet you, thanks for coming to interview with us

Absolutely!

>Well first... let's learn a bit about you! What's your PASSION in life, what DRIVES you, anon?

Oh... I like. I like good things that... that I like.

>Uh huh. Uh huh. So, let me just ask, if we gave you a spec to make ____ how would you go about doing that?

Ah! I would first lay out the schematics for you in _____ and once you've approved, I'd code the framework in _____ as that's my preferred IDE, I would the-

>We use ____ IDE, anon.

Oh... Sure I can do that too! I would use ___ IDE and get a rough draft for you, the framework in place we could then polish the features and get a BETA release into the hands of your client

>Very nice. Very nice. You seem to know what you're talking about, and that means a lot to us.

Thanks! I -

>So let me tell you about our startup here. Let me take some deep breaths and look down at the table and fold my hands as if I'm Steve Jobs and I'm about to blow your fucking brains out with my charisma and business sense, okay?

Okay.

>What we're striving to develop here is a CULTURE anon, a successful company needs a CULTURE or some kind of banner of like-mindedness to ...

(2 hours later)

>And that's why we are going to be as big or bigger than McDonalds some day. Because they have culture, and so do we. We want someone who can bring us to the next level technically -

Oh that's me!

> - and really give us boners about how fucking cool they are at the same time. We want to feel like high schoolers who have a crush on the cool kid, and we need YOU to be that cool kid

Ah. I see. Well... can you start me on a project and let me show you what I can do?

>Absolutely, but first - I need to know what your needs are for wages

I will need _____/hr to make ends meet, if that's okay

>Ok. We don't like to talk about NUMBERS? NECESSARILY? Until we can see what kind of REAL TALENT? YOU HAVE? YOU KNOW? UPWARD INFLECTIONS? So. This won't work.