/biz/ - Business & Finance

Alright guys, just got off the phone with the President. He would like to inform us that the March-June mini-bullrun test was a success, and that the real bullrun will formally commence on August 3rd.
In his own words we are "sensing very high energies in the FAGMAN" which would "force tech stocks to pump bigly". He has also signed an executive order that makes it illegal for NASDAQ to be red for more than once a month, coming into effect on August 14th.
Although he won't state it publicly, he would like to sincerely apologize for any agony the last few weeks might have caused you, and that it is now safe to delete your pink wojak folder.
God bless America.