/biz/ - Business & Finance

And the boomers regulated it away

>>15946184
These have been the longest two years of my life

can someone PLEASE post the cyberpunk chainlink copypasta. one of the lines was how nolinkers were committing suicide and jannies had to clean it up

I was born in India but I work in the USA now. Makin 70k in the midwest which is nice at least,. I wouldn't have to buy virgin waifus though, look up 'dowry', I could easily get a virgin waifu to pay me instead to be my waifu.

>>15829333
>A new doctor is explaining everything to me
>He hands me the shoebox I put some possessions in - a photo of my family, a photo of my cat, my first Ledger Nano
>I can tell this body isn't organic, but it looks completely natural
>The doctor shows me my portfolio
>Adjusted for inflation, I'm the equivalent of a 2021 billionaire
>I pay for an ego backup
>A sensor imbedded in my body serves as an oracle, if I die my consciousness will immediately be restored in a new body
>I spend some decades roaming Earth, talking to the other old Linkers
>Learn that ayys made first contact soon after our societal and technological development was spurred on by smart contracts
>Pay homage to the statue of Sergey Nazarov, standing in the center of what was once Israel
>Send 1 Link to the janitors wallet as he scrubs Sergey's giant stone feet
>He gets a notification and realizes he's suddenly a rich man
>Exclaims he can finally buy his freedom, breaks down crying tears of happiness
>Figure I've had enough of Earth, pay a ship building company to make me a vessel resembling the one I once flew in EVE Online
>Explore the stars and meet all sorts of interesting people and space niggers using worm holes rendered traversable by some alien technology
>Enter the infinite
What are you gonna do when you make it, anon?

>>15752814
>A new doctor is explaining everything to me
>He hands me the shoebox I put some possessions in - a photo of my family, a photo of my cat, my first Ledger Nano
>I can tell this body isn't organic, but it looks completely natural
>The doctor shows me my portfolio
>Adjusted for inflation, I'm the equivalent of a 2021 billionaire
>I pay for an ego backup
>A sensor imbedded in my body serves as an oracle, if I die my consciousness will immediately be restored in a new body
>I spend some decades roaming Earth, talking to the other old Linkers
>Learn that ayys made first contact soon after our societal and technological development was spurred on by smart contracts
>Pay homage to the statue of Sergey Nazarov, standing in the center of what was once Israel
>Send 1 Link to the janitors wallet as he scrubs Sergey's giant stone feet
>He gets a notification and realizes he's suddenly a rich man
>Exclaims he can finally buy his freedom, breaks down crying tears of happiness
>Figure I've had enough of Earth, pay a ship building company to make me a vessel resembling the one I once flew in EVE Online
>Explore the stars and meet all sorts of interesting people and space niggers using worm holes rendered traversable by some alien technology
>Enter the infinite
What are you gonna do when you make it, anon?

>>15627039
>A new doctor is explaining everything to me
>He hands me the shoebox I put some possessions in - a photo of my family, a photo of my cat, my first Ledger Nano
>I can tell this body isn't organic, but it looks completely natural
>The doctor shows me my portfolio
>Adjusted for inflation, I'm the equivalent of a 2021 billionaire
>I pay for an ego backup
>A sensor imbedded in my body serves as an oracle, if I die my consciousness will immediately be restored in a new body
>I spend some decades roaming Earth, talking to the other old Linkers
>Learn that ayys made first contact soon after our societal and technological development was spurred on by smart contracts
>Pay homage to the statue of Sergey Nazarov, standing in the center of what was once Israel
>Send 1 Link to the janitors wallet as he scrubs Sergey's giant stone feet
>He gets a notification and realizes he's suddenly a rich man
>Exclaims he can finally buy his freedom, breaks down crying tears of happiness
>Figure I've had enough of Earth, pay a ship building company to make me a vessel resembling the one I once flew in EVE Online
>Explore the stars and meet all sorts of interesting people and space niggers using worm holes rendered traversable by some alien technology
>Enter the infinite
What are you gonna do when you make it, anon?

...As his five person company's live valuation slipped below his option
strike price, he reached for his TRNG stress release pistol, placed it
against his temple, squeezed the trigger, and successfully blew his
brains out. This final act is still recognized as the largest creation
of shareholder value in history.

In a future world where even the smallest shittiest startup is traded
on the urbit public markets. Anyone can short sell these hopeless and
poorly managed companies.

This particular CEO is on the risk neutral to risk loving spectrum. So
he uses a TRNG stress release pistol. It's a 250 millibitcoin firearm
that uses a nuclear decay based hardware TRNG that can be set anywhere
from 1 picomort to 1 mort. He keeps his at 1 picomort. The guns are
designed, manufactured, and their risk is syndicated by a web of
distributed companies.

Upon his expiration, his lifeline chainlink oracle triggered the TRNG
stress pistol's smartcontract, instantaneously transferring the life
insurance payout to his wallet.

...

This is the story of his $10T (2019 USD equivalent) payout.

>>15540279
They were always patrolling the city for nodes that churned out "dangerous" broadcasts. We had enough NEETS scurrying around to keep them busy at all hours. Swap a repeater out from the top of a streetlamp and back underneath a nearby robotaxi. Receive payment instantly via smart contract once it reached the designated coordinates for switchover. Each gig barely paid on its own but you could crank out a few dozen in no time and watch all of the tiny transactions flood in at once. Not to mention, all that running and climbing around the city worked wonders for staying in shape. Just to be clear: when I say NEET, I mean just about anyone who didn’t have a multiyear contract locked in with one of the mega corps. In fact, there was such a large pool of day-jobbers in the city picking up gigs and dispensing to virtual LLC’s that it wasn’t worth the effort to crack down on each one. As soon as you tried to tax one entity it would dissolve into three more. Despite this, it felt like the mega corps kept all the best jobs, which is to say: all the jobs that paid decent without requiring you to interact with other people. Then they started to outsource with androids, because the AI meant even less maintenance, and you could land one of those gigs again. All you had to do was fail the Voight Kompf on purpose and you were in. That’s how I got my job as a lighthouse operator. They were watching the city all night long and yet here I was spinning a node right over their heads.

>>15262770
>January 1st, 2021
>I wake up around noon and check coinmarketcap
>$1050
>I spent New Years Eve alone as usual
>I think about all the memes, all the threads spammed on the Chainlink board of 4channel last night
>All the fud about dropping back to $800
>We finally broke $1,000
>I walk outside and get an Uber to the airport
>I only have the 300 Link I managed to buy early 2020, but I started making enough off staking to quit my job
>I fly to the Cryonics center I've been in touch with
>In the waiting room I browse /link/ (a board made when some anon bought 4channel with his Link gains last August)
>half the threads are anons showing off their yachts, huge orgies, paying homeless people to let them beat the shit out of them, you get the idea
>I wish I'd had gotten in earlier - a few anons were living like literal kings now, complete with their own fledgling countries
>a couple more livestreams pop up - more nolinker suicides
>the jannies quickly take them down
>the doc takes my phone and we make small talk until I slip into the abyss
>Im declared dead
>This sets off my contracts interlinked within contracts interlinked within contracts interlinked within oracles
>The first contract releases the payment to the Cryonics organization
>Immediately after my Link portfolio is reorganized by a series of contracts written to stake my Link automatically for safe profits
>years pass and an army of profit taking contracts are at work, diversifying my portfolio into various assets for another level of security
>100 years pass and the stop loss contracts still haven't kicked in
>As if no time had passed at all I'm awake, for a second I think I'm still waiting to be put into Cryogenic sleep

1/2

must be comfy not living on a dying planet

>>14848576
>A new doctor is explaining everything to me
>He hands me the shoebox I put some possessions in - a photo of my family, a photo of my cat, my first Ledger Nano
>I can tell this body isn't organic, but it looks completely natural
>The doctor shows me my portfolio
>Adjusted for inflation, I'm the equivalent of a 2021 billionaire
>I pay for an ego backup
>A sensor imbedded in my body serves as an oracle, if I die my consciousness will immediately be restored in a new body
>I spend some decades roaming Earth, talking to the other old Linkers
>Learn that ayys made first contact soon after our societal and technological development was spurred on by smart contracts
>Pay homage to the statue of Sergey Nazarov, standing in the center of what was once Israel
>Send 1 Link to the janitors wallet as he scrubs Sergey's giant stone feet
>He gets a notification and realizes he's suddenly a rich man
>Exclaims he can finally buy his freedom, breaks down crying tears of happiness
>Figure I've had enough of Earth, pay a ship building company to make me a vessel resembling the one I once flew in EVE Online
>Explore the stars and meet all sorts of interesting people and space niggers using worm holes rendered traversable by some alien technology
>Enter the infinite
What are you gonna do when you make it, anon?

its the year 2025 you are in the streets smoking a good cigar, and driving your lambo. Suddenly a 10 ethot appear from nowhere, she look at you, her brapper scanner detected a enormous amounts of brappers near, you look at her, she is good she is a 10 you decide to reveal your power level, you have 1 billion brapps, then you spend the whole night with her during a brapper party in your condo.
i the future ethots are in the hunt for the new gold, they mine brappers, its the only thing that matter to stacies, if you are a brapper chad, only brappilled get laid.

>>14746066
Crypto would be a joke in this case.

I told my parents I was putting cash into crypto. My dad started researching it and put my whole inheritance on bitcoin, link, ripple, & litecoin. I fucking hope this shit takes off. 60% link and 20% btc.

If link drops I'm gonna need some ropium.

its the year 2025 you are in the streets smoking a good cigar, and driving your lambo. Suddenly a 10 ethot appear from nowhere, she look at you, her brapper scanner detected a enormous amounts of brappers near, you look at her, she is good she is a 10 you decide to reveal your power level, you have 1 billion brapps, then you spend the whole night with her during a brapper party in your condo.
i the future ethots are in the hunt for the new gold, they mine brappers, its the only thing that matter to stacies, if you are a brapper chad.

>>14698332
Lost of trust in governments worldwide, people moving towards something they believe will protect control over their own wealth.

As his five person company's live valuation slipped below his option
strike price, he reached for his TRNG stress release pistol, placed it
against his temple, squeezed the trigger, and successfully blew his
brains out. This final act is still recognized as the largest creation
of shareholder value in history.

In a future world where even the smallest shittiest startup is traded
on the urbit public markets. Anyone can short sell these hopeless and
poorly managed companies.

This particular CEO is on the risk neutral to risk loving spectrum. So
he uses a TRNG stress release pistol. It's a 250 millibitcoin firearm
that uses a nuclear decay based hardware TRNG that can be set anywhere
from 1 picomort to 1 mort. He keeps his at 1 picomort. The guns are
designed, manufactured, and their risk is syndicated by a web of
distributed companies.

Upon his expiration, his lifeline chainlink oracle triggered the TRNG
stress pistol's smartcontract, instantaneously transferring the life
insurance payout to his wallet.

For the common man, who has no will nor inclination to educate himself; who is credulous and all-too-trusting; whose more pressing needs weigh more heavily in his thoughts than his probable circumstances months and years hence; for the common man in question will be modern-day slavery, for he opens his doors and betrays his secrets to sign a contract in the mistaken belief that he is secure from harm should he fail to comply with the agreement, only to receive a shock once the terms are violated and rapine descends upon him to satisfy his creditors. And if such measures, abstracted away from all personal responsibility, are not enough to satisfy the debt? Then penal interest and financial penalties drive him into debt bondage forevermore. He can no longer recourse to a higher authority, nor flee his creditors, for smart contracts will surely prevent his escape.
Thoughts, /biz/?

>>14594732
>A new doctor is explaining everything to me
>He hands me the shoebox I put some possessions in - a photo of my family, a photo of my cat, my first Ledger Nano
>I can tell this body isn't organic, but it looks completely natural
>The doctor shows me my portfolio
>Adjusted for inflation, I'm the equivalent of a 2021 billionaire
>I pay for an ego backup
>A sensor imbedded in my body serves as an oracle, if I die my consciousness will immediately be restored in a new body
>I spend some decades roaming Earth, talking to the other old Linkers
>Learn that ayys made first contact soon after our societal and technological development was spurred on by smart contracts
>Pay homage to the statue of Sergey Nazarov, standing in the center of what was once Israel
>Send 1 Link to the janitors wallet as he scrubs Sergey's giant stone feet
>He gets a notification and realizes he's suddenly a rich man
>Exclaims he can finally buy his freedom, breaks down crying tears of happiness
>Figure I've had enough of Earth, pay a ship building company to make me a vessel resembling the one I once flew in EVE Online
>Explore the stars and meet all sorts of interesting people and space niggers using worm holes rendered traversable by some alien technology
>Enter the infinite
What are you gonna do when you make it, anon?

>>14589067
>>14589077

>>14575293
Imagine a NEET-operated autonomous robot oracle army that has read-write access to federal crime statistic databases and that can be paid in link not only to provide highly reliable crime statistics to automated chimpout insurance smart contracts, but also to adjust those statistics on the fly in the field as they actively police and 'detain' niggers, kikes, spics, kebabs ,and jannies.

>>14510390
>A new doctor is explaining everything to me
>He hands me the shoebox I put some possessions in - a photo of my family, a photo of my cat, my first Ledger Nano
>I can tell this body isn't organic, but it looks completely natural
>The doctor shows me my portfolio
>Adjusted for inflation, I'm the equivalent of a 2021 billionaire
>I pay for an ego backup
>A sensor imbedded in my body serves as an oracle, if I die my consciousness will immediately be restored in a new body
>I spend some decades roaming Earth, talking to the other old Linkers
>Learn that ayys made first contact soon after our societal and technological development was spurred on by smart contracts
>Pay homage to the statue of Sergey Nazarov, standing in the center of what was once Israel
>Send 1 Link to the janitors wallet as he scrubs Sergey's giant stone feet
>He gets a notification and realizes he's suddenly a rich man
>Exclaims he can finally buy his freedom, breaks down crying tears of happiness
>Figure I've had enough of Earth, pay a ship building company to make me a vessel resembling the one I once flew in EVE Online
>Explore the stars and meet all sorts of interesting people and space niggers using worm holes rendered traversable by some alien technology
>Enter the infinite
What are you gonna do when you make it, anon?