/biz/ - Business & Finance

>thought crypto wasn't a meme

Guys what does it feel like? Please tell me I have to know. I've tried everything from a hollowed out banana peel with ductape wrapped around it put into the microwave.

I've stolen the soap dispensers from work and taken them home cut it open and put it inside the plastic bag only to sting the tip of my penis.

I've tried the vaccum cleaner only to have it cut the side of my sack and began to bleed out.

I carved out a watermelon as well and after I stuck it in found out I had a skin allergic reaction to the watermelon which resulted in a very irritated skin rash. I've tried it all.

Please guys I really need to know what does sex feel like. I'm so depressed and riddled with social anxiety that I can't talk to women in real life and am still a Virgin at the age of 25. I really need to know guys. I'm scared to try a hooker because I've heard you can get aids with stds and end up paralysed.

Can someone here please tell me what sex feels like and is it worth it? I really need to know

Why the fuck did I even bother to buy Chainlink?

Even if Link's price would reach $5, it would mean 3rd place in the whole Market Cap. 3rd fucking place, it would show unbelivable rocketing, hundreds of partnerships confirmed and Ethereum-tier hype of the project and even then, and only then, it would only barely reach that $5 dollars in price.

This fucking shit token has no future for normal poorfags like us, only people like this guy will make it:
>>11971597
>>11971639

Chainlink was never meant for poorfags like us, even when bought at ico prices you would have had to serious money like $60k to actually make it. We poorfags were never meant to make it, the dream is over. Even $5 dollars a link is pushing it beyond your wildest dreams. Just fucking kill me. Poorfags like us were never meant to make it.

>just go up and talk to her
>its that easy they told me
>just have confidence and don't be nervous
>just maintain eye contact and don't hesitate
>speak direct and don't give up

Fuck you idiots for spewing me lies. Fuck you for telling me to do all of the above saying that it would work and I could find a woman. Fuck you for saying just get fit dude and lift and they will come crawling. Fuck all of you liars for spreading miss information.

I've been going to the same Starbucks for the past 2 months now trying to work up the courage to talk to my most favourite barista. It just was going fine I would just say how are you doing most days and compliment her amazing coffee making skills.

This morning decide today was the day to make my move. Tell her how she's the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on. Tell her she is graceful in every way she moves. Tell her that anyone who is having the worst days could just spend 30 seconds talking with her and feel born again with hope and youth. Tell her I could make her life much easier and she would never have to work at Starbucks anymore. Ask her to go out on a date with me that I know a real great Italian place. Give her my number.

She walks into the back and dissapears for 20 seconds. Comes back with manager who is threatening to call the police if I don't leave. Get told to never come back because I'm harassing the workers. I called out her name to apologize and asked her to give me a second chance. She ignored me.

I walked away in shame feeling betrayed and stomped on. Why the fuck did biz lie to me? I bought ethereum at $12 and Ive already made it but without love I feel so empty.

Why did you guys lie to me biz? I literally did everything right here and had confidence and it didn't work. I would trade away all my gains for the love and warmth of a significant other. Money doesn't buy you happiness.

Why the fuck did I even bother to buy
Chainlink?

Even if Link's price would somehow reach even $5, it would mean 3rd place in the whole Crypto Market. 3rd fucking place, it would show unbelivable rocketing from the current rank #45, boasting hundreds of partnerships and Ethereum-tier hype for project and only then it would only barely reach that $5 dollars in price

This fucking shit token has no future for normal poorfags like us, only people like this guy will make it
>>11971597
>>11971639

Chainlink was never meant for poorfags like you and me, even when bought at ico prices you would have had to invest like 60k USD to actually make it.

We were never meant to make it, the dream is over. Even $5 dollars a link is pushing it beyond your wildest dreams. Just fucking kill me. Poorfags like us were never meant to make it

Why the fuck did I even bother buy this literal shittoken?

Even if Link's price would reach $5, it would mean 3rd place in the whole Market Cap. 3rd fucking place, it would mean unbelivable rocketing, hundreds of partnership and Ethereum-tier hype of the project and even then it would only barely reach $5 dollars in price

This fucking shit token has no future for normal poorfags like us, only people like this guy will make it
>>11971597
>>11971639

Chainlink was never meant for poorfags like us, even when bought at ico prices you would have had money to put like 60k to Link to actually make it. We were never meant to make it, the dream is over. Even $5 dollars a link is pushing it beyond your wildest dreams. Just fucking kill me. Poorfags like us were never meant to make it

Why the fuck did I even bother buy this literal shittoken?

Even if Link's price would reach $5, it would mean 3rd place in the whole Market Cap. 3rd fucking place, it would mean unbelivable rocketing, hundreds of partnership and Ethereum-tier hype of the project and even then it would only barely reach $5 dollars in price

This fucking shit token has no future for normal poorfags like us, only people like this guy will make it
>>11971597
>>11971639

Chainlink was never meant for poorfags like us, even when bought at ico prices you would have had money to put like 60k to Link to actually make it. We were never meant to make it, the dream is over. Even $5 dollars a link is pushing it beyond your wildest dreams. Just fucking kill me

Just lost a friendship over George bushes death. I blew up on the guy I knew and redpilled him about 9/11 and the jews. Rip fuck em only person I had to hang out with. Now it's just me and my world of warcraft account and my ethereum I bought at $5. Fuck NPC niggers.

>use a fake profile of a male model to talk to women on tinder
>get over 50+ likes within a matter of hours
>find a really nice looking gal
>begin talking a bunch about my passions and desires
>have 3 hours of deep sensual conversation with passion and love
>she says she wants to meet up the next day at a Starbucks for coffee
>I am overwhelmed with joy that she said yes
>get a haircut, have a shower, buy the most expensive cologne at my mall and get ready for the time of my life
>made sure to show up 10 minutes late to make sure I could see her
>I approached the Starbucks slowly and I saw her sitting inside through the window
>slowly walk up to her and say "Rachel is that you?"
>she says yes. I begin to tell her I was Eric from tinder
>she panics and says "what the fuck! Get away from me you creep!"
>I try to calm her down begging her to hear why I did this
>I grab her hand and say please relax.
>she screams "help me!! This man's trying to hurt me"
>I panic and run as fast as I can out of the Starbucks with my cologne wafting in the air
>I sprint as fast as I can many city blocks and get back to the bus before the cops show up

Guys can you please help me. I wanted to try to tell this woman that she could get to know me on the inside first and then learn to love me for what I looked like later. I really wanted her to be the one guys but I really fucked this up. I didn't think that it would turn out this way and all I wanted was to find love. I thought our deep passionate conversation would have been enough to ignite the passion but it didn't work.

Guys what can I do to improve my chances of finding love? I'm 32 years old and still have not lost my virginity. I wanted her to give herself to me but it didnt work out the way I planned. Can someone please help me? I'm willing to pay 10 ethereum for us to meet up if you teach me the ways. I live in California LA. Please I am really desperate help.

>stop masturbation for 2 weeks as I was becoming extremely tired
>forgot about porn and was starting to enjoy life
>had to go to dentist appointment yesterday
>cute asian hygienist begins cleaning my teeth
>she's wearing some perfume
>never had sex before and still a Virgin at the age of 29
>begin to realize I've screwed up as I haven't masturbated in forever
>she begins brushing my arms and I begin getting a boner
>she leans in to get av better angle and I feel the side of her breast touch my shoulder
>first time I've ever felt a breast
>I begin to lose it and squirm in the chair which causes a lot of pain
>she puts her hand on my chest and apologizes I cum in my pants
>realize what the fuck I just did wearing sweat pants and the stain begins to appear
>I panic and tell her im cold can she pass me my hoodie
>put it over my legs so she can't see my cum pants
>thankfully she didn't notice
>tells me im done for the day a while later and I thank her with the freezing still in my mouth
>still holding the hoodie in my waist I tell her I forgot my credit card at home and can't pay until next visit
>quickly run out of the room before she can notice anything
>skip paying at the front desk and run to my car and quickly drive home with sticky legs

Guys I'm a 29 year old virgin who has never touched a woman before. That whole experience changed my life. I didn't know woman had that kind of power over me. Please guys you have to help me. I really don't want to begin masturbating on a regular basis as I was beginning to feel born again with youth and energy. How can I not masturbated and still prevent myselft from cumming in my pants when a woman touches me? please I really need some advice here.

>bought ethereum at $6
>29, still a Virgin and never been in relationship
>decide I want to go to a yoga class to find a gf
>sign up for class and find out its full of women in their 40-50 divorced
>go during the middle of the day class is packed
>didn't realize what a big mistake I had made and how aroused I would be
>mid way through the session get extreme erection
>women around me begin to notice
>start to realize what a huge mistake I've made
>old nervousness begins to set in
>hands begin to shake
>starts getting hard to breathe
>begin getting chest pains
>can't stop the pain and go down into fetal position
>class stops and someone calls an ambulance
>end up getting taken to the hospital due to suffering a panic attack
>one of the concerned women from the class came by later to check in on me
>first time a woman has ever shown interest in me
>begin getting nervous again in my hospital bed and the nurses need to come in and gives me more meds
>after I calm down the woman comes back into the room and sees if I'm okay
>begin telling her that being around women makes me nervous.
>she says there's nothing to be nervous about she's just a human
>I begin to feel comfortable for the first time in my life
>tell her I would like to go out on a date for food and she says yes
>exchange phone numbers and set up a time.

Guys this was last week and I'm beginning to get nervous again. The date is set up for tomorrow at 7:00 pm. She doesn't know I am wealthy at all and I really think she might be the one. She's 43 years old and I've always had a fetish for mommys. What should I do guys? I'm trying to keep my chest pains under control before the date so I don't panic. I have my meds and they're helping but I've never been on a date before and don't know what to expect. I really want this one to be the one. Please guys any advice you can give me is valuable. I'll do anything for advice.

>mfw my pubic hair is longer than my erection
>mfw even though I bought ethereum at $5 I'm still a dicklet
>mfw even though I already made it no women will ever love me because of my small willy
Is there any hope for me?

Third day of no fap and don't feel any different yet. How long until I have life gains from no fap? Tell me your no fap experiences, I need to be reminded of why I'm doing this or I'll lose

>masturbate 7-8 times a day
>pain all through my body
>sleep because it causes me not to hurt
>27 year old virgin who made it from ethereum
>nap through out the day in between masturbation sessions
>mom asks me to bring in groceries
>hands hurt so much I can barely lift in the bags
>end up dropping the milk and vegetables all over the drive way
>mother screams at me asking what the fuck is wrong with me
>tell her him not feeling good and go lock myself in my room and turn on Tara tainton again
>wake up in even more pain thinking I can't escape this cycle

You guys told me after you made it from crypto everything would be better. You guys fucking lied.

>mfw I have to wait 3 more years until the love of my life can move in with me
>mfw I'm still a Virgin at 26 and have been saving myself for the one
>mfw there are laws in place right now made by (((them))) to make the age of concent at 16
>mfw I wish we could turn on the ovens and purge the useless race that did 9/11

Is the link oc marked really this saturated? I must say I hoped for more than one (you). It's not really worth making oc when the pay is that low. FUCK YOU cheap fuckers

>woman I've been with has stopped seeing me and won't respond to texts
>says she's tired of the same old sex
>tell her im into sexual kinks
>she gets interested
>tell her im into having my ass eaten out and being pegged
>pull out my strap on from the closet
>she gets dressed and runs out the door

So this was last week and I've called her and texted over 10 times each. Her voicebox is full and she isn't responding. Everything was going fine until I told her my kinks. Why the fuck are women so vile?

>>11633038
Yes okay but what do I say when I walk up to a woman. I've done it in the past.
>hello there
>HI how are you anon
>oh I'm okay
>its a nice day isn't it?
>oh yes it is anon
>okay well I like your shoes they look nice
>is there something I can help you with anon?
>I just like the way you look and was wondering if I could get to know you better
>please get away from me before I call the police.

Yes this did happen and ever since then I can't fucking talk to women REEEEEEEE

>masturbate 7-8 times a day
>pain all through my body
>sleep because it causes me not to hurt
>27 year old virgin who made it from ethereum
>nap through out the day in between masturbation sessions
>mom asks me to bring in groceries
>hands hurt so much I can barely lift in the bags
>end up dropping the milk and vegetables all over the drive way
>mother screams at me asking what the fuck is wrong with me
>tell her him not feeling good and go lock myself in my room and turn on Tara tainton again
>wake up in even more pain thinking I can't escape this cycle

You guys told me after you made it from crypto everything would be better. You guys fucking lied.

>masturbate 7-8 times a day
>pain all through my body
>sleep because it causes me not to hurt
>27 year old virgin who made it from ethereum
>nap through out the day in between masturbation sessions
>mom asks me to bring in groceries
>hands hurt so much I can barely lift in the bags
>end up dropping the milk and vegetables all over the drive way
>mother screams at me asking what the fuck is wrong with me
>tell her him not feeling good and go lock myself in my room and turn on Tara tainton again
>wake up in even more pain thinking I can't escape this cycle

You guys told me after you made it from crypto everything would be better. You guys fucking lied.

suck my own meat hammer:(

>woman I've been with has stopped seeing me and won't respond to texts
>says she's tired of the same old sex
>tell her im into sexual kinks
>she gets interested
>tell her im into having my ass eaten out and being pegged
>pull out my strap on from the closet
>she gets dressed and runs out the door

So this was last week and I've called her and texted over 10 times each. Her voicebox is full and she isn't responding. Everything was going fine until I told her my kinks. Why the fuck are women so vile?

>woman I've been with has stopped seeing me and won't respond to texts
>says she's tired of the same old sex
>tell her im into sexual kinks
>she gets interested
>tell her im into having my ass eaten out and being pegged
>pull out my strap on from the closet
>she gets dressed and runs out the door

So this was last week and I've called her and texted over 10 times each. Her voicebox is full and she isn't responding. Everything was going fine until I told her my kinks. Why the fuck are women so vile?

Also to any married anons do your wifes eat out your ass or peg you? Its been my dream to get married to a woman who wants to peg me. Up until now I've had to pay prostitutes to peg me. Is there any hope of finding a nice lady into these things?

>woman I've been with has stopped seeing me and won't respond to texts
>says she's tired of the same old sex
>tell her im into sexual kinks
>she gets interested
>tell her im into having my ass eaten out and being pegged
>pull out my strap on from the closet
>she gets dressed and runs out the door

So this was last week and I've called her and texted over 10 times each. Her voicebox is full and she isn't responding. Everything was going fine until I told her my kinks. Why the fuck are women so vile?