/biz/ - Business & Finance

*HONK*
*HONK*
*HOOOOONK*
I have an announcement everybody!

*HONK*
Everybody! I have an announcement!
*HONK*

>*blows up balloon and makes a balloon dog*

This announcement is gonna be monumental..
>*sprays water from fake flower*
The biggest..
>*slaps you with rubber chicken*
Most AMAZING announcement..
>*pulls string and bow-tie spins like a fan*
You'll ever hear in your life!

Get ready, for..
>*takes off size 30 shoe, inflating a giant balloon hammer, then bonks you with it*
The announcement..
>*starts pulling line of multi-colored cloth from throat*

To end all announcements!

And that announcement
>*gets in tiny car, drives around and then gets back out*
Is gonna be coming to you..
>*pulls out gun*
NOW!
>*"Bang!" flag pops out upon firing*

Here, just lean your head in closer to this sack of announcements and you'll hear it.

Closer..

Cloooooossssseerrrrrr...

*HOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNKKKK*
>*presses a coconut pie into your face*

And there it is!