/biz/ - Business & Finance

FBI have recovered the ledger

Chinese hackers kidnapped Sirgey and demand ransom
CIA and DEA have muted the stream.
Situation under control.

>>17034915
Was all over the news the other day.
Basically evil Creg forgot 2x usb3.0 flash drives with private keys, took hostages.
Sergey climbed through the whole wc area on his belly flat (without T-shirt). Like a fkin Bruce Wills-it from these famous 'Eat Hard' blockblythsters.
He's a real hero and real human bean

>>17022735
G-g-guys, hostages has been taken, he asks for copter belonging to Kobe(rip), some weird mixicles(let me know what it is below) and 1 usb3.0 flash drive.
Stinkies forever BTFOed

>>14656035

>>14348227
>tfw OP doesn't know about the real oracle incident when Sergey forgot usb stick with his sibos presentation

>>14253473
it's over

>>13995006
also hopefully there is no need to remind anons of infamous 'oracle incident'

>>13962886
UPD: situation escalates
local police refer to it as 'operatin ORKL'

>>13863196
blogpost preview has been compromised!!!!!!
EXIT ALL MARKETS
repeat
EXIT ALL MARKETS

>>13836962
he even once left it on the sink in the nearest mcdonalds,
CIA had to call in helis, there also were fake news about this oracle incident

>>13835313
*pleep ploop pleep*
- API police department, how can I help you?
- Uh, Jason, hello, it seems we have an oracle situation: there is some guy in a lucky brand flannel shirt and he demands bigmacs at mcdonalds near you.
fundamentally he wants quote 'lots and lots of bigmacs'
and he wants each of them sent using smart contract
yes, digitally signed
use extra caution, fellow might be a wacko,
people say they heard him shouting something about connecting chains to real world, i dont know
will you check it? very nice
briefing report will be sent shortly, can you please parse it in the next 5 minutes?
*pleeeeeep*