/biz/ - Business & Finance

TWO LONG YEARS, AND YOUR TIME HAS COME, MAN. NO MARKS! NO SCARS! NO BLEMISHES ON THE HULKSTER, BROTHER! BUT INSIDE, MAN, I’VE BEEN SCARRED FOR TWO LONG YEARS.

EVERYWHERE I GO, MAN, ALL THE LITTLE HULKSTERS ASK ME, “IS THERE ANY TRUTH TO THE FACT THAT THERE WAS A CONTROVERSIAL VOTE COUNT? HULKSTER, DID THEY REALLY RIG THE VOTE? DID TRUMP REALLY BEAT SLEEPY JOE?”

WELL MAN, WE’RE GONNA WIPE ALL THAT CONTROVERSY OUT. SLEEPY JOE, WHEN YOU’RE FRESH AS A DAISY, WITH THE WHOLE WORLD WATCHING, I’M GONNA PROVE, BROTHER, THAT I CAN BEATCHA ANYWHERE, ANYTIME! AND ALL MY HULKAMANIACS, THEY’RE GONNA FEEL IT TOO. IF YOU LOOK IN THEIR EYES, MAN, HAVE YOU SEEN THE FEAR IN ALL THOSE LITTLE HULKSTERS? THEY REALIZE THAT WHEN I GET THE DEMOCRAT PARTY CINCHED UP IN THE LAUNCH POSITION, WHEN I SLAM THEM THROUGH THE TRUMP PLAZA, BROTHER, FROM NEW YORK, DOWN TO TAMPA, FLORIDA, THE FAULT LINE IS GONNA BREAK OFF! AND AS THOSE NIGGERS FALL INTO THE OCEAN, AS MY NEXT TWO OPPONENTS FALL TO THE OCEAN FLOOR AND I PIN ‘EM, SO WILL DONALD TRUMP AND ALL THE HULKAMANIACS!

BUT AS DONALD TRUMP HANGS ON TO THE TOP OF THE TRUMP PLAZA, WITH HIS FAMILY UNDER HIS OTHER ARM, AS THEY SINK, TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA, THANK GOD DONALD TRUMP’S A HULKAMANIAC! HE’LL KNOW ENOUGH TO LET GO OF HIS MATERIALISTIC POSSESSIONS, HANG ON TO THE WIFE AND KIDS, DOG PADDLE WITH HIS LIFE ALL THE WAY TO SAFETY! BUT DONALD, IF SOMETHIN’ HAPPENS, IF YOU RUN OUTTA GAS, AND ALL THOSE LITTLE HULKAMANIACS, JUST HANG ON TO THE LARGEST BACK IN THE WORLD, AND I’LL DOG PADDLE US, BACKSTROKE ALL OF US TO SAFETY BROTHER!