/biz/ - Business & Finance

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

CIRCUIT BREAKERS INCOMING

THIS IS IT! THE BIG ONE!

>>24236166
>Close broker at open when QQQ red
>Open up AH with all my stuff up 4% or more
>tfw I rolled my short puts yesterday
Can't win em all. At least I had a great green day.

>>24191529
Nice.

Picture the scene.

You're a bull, you've come home exhausted after your back-breaking 19 hour night shift in the McFactory, you've eaten your cold halal hamburger lunch and prayed to Trump to save or at least kill you. You're tired, apathetic, and just feel like sleeping and never waking up again. Your upper middle class (for east coast standards) lifestyle is getting you down.

So in desperate need for light entertainment and some financial gains, you fire up /biz/. Oh look, an /smg/ thread! Time to share amusing memes with my trading brothers and forget my troubles.

Then you see it. The small, yellow crab standing triumphantly over all bulls and bears. The unreasonably flat line in your broker filling the other half the screen. You feel suddenly sick in your stomach. You see the filename: "crabbed on.jpg". And just when you can't take any more, you notice all your stocks hitting a perfect 0.00% on the day and your theta decaying at speeds yet unknown to science. The absurdity and horror of it all hits home. It is at that moment when you realise there's no point continuing. You crabbed today, and you will continue to crab in the future. In a spasm of anger you throw your phone across the room and scream, because you know the crabs and even Baggie are laughing at you right now. In. This. Very. Thread.