/biz/ - Business & Finance

Please OP you brainlet you will suffer if you jump on now wait for it to bleed a bit again. It might take a bit of time and I know you’re impatient but if you get on now you’ll regret fren.

We carefully analysed the demographic we want to hit, sad retards who are in their teens and boy did brad hut the jackpot with the boomer holding the can. Stacey said BRAND AWARENESS so loudly she nearly fell of her inflatable exercise ball. The best bit is we love the idea of you doing our work for us. So all you sad lonely types looking to belong just do our work for us and post boomer memes with the monster logo in them. Please don't think about vomit when you think of our lovely logo.

Please ignore stuff like this
https://www.ft.com/content/fa5e6d88-1c7e-11e2-ba75-00144feabdc0


"The US Food and Drug Administration said on Monday that five people may have died from consuming Monster Energy drinks, adding to fears about the safety of highly caffeinated beverages.Shares of Monster fell 14.23 per cent to $45.73 after the regulator said it had received five reports since 2004 linking the drinks to deaths. The company is already facing a probe in New York state over its marketing practices and ingredients."

That's why we think posting shitty forced memes here targeting demographics we might get in trouble for marketing to using other channels is a GREAT idea. Some people threatened to post our strategy document to Wikipedia. But fuck that were are going to keep going anyway because I mean who gives a fuck if you all get heart conditions and throw up every morning. The main thing is you SIP our lovely vomit, I mean energy drink. Don't think about vomit Think about being YOUNG and EDGY. SIP!

>>10774307